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+++ WARNING CONTROVERSIAL OPINION +++
Lots of valuable important chatter on the social medial today about #WorldSuicidePreventionDay. Much of it share phone numbers for hotlines and recommendations to seek help or take the person to the ER.
None of that is bad advice.
Lots of valuable important chatter on the social medial today about #WorldSuicidePreventionDay. Much of it share phone numbers for hotlines and recommendations to seek help or take the person to the ER.
None of that is bad advice.
It’s also what isolates people suffering from depression. It makes them afraid to tell others how they are feeling.
When I think about killing myself, I don’t want a phone number and a ride to the ER. I want someone to ask, “What does that feel like?”
When I think about killing myself, I don’t want a phone number and a ride to the ER. I want someone to ask, “What does that feel like?”
I want someone to come down in the hole with me for a minute.
When I feel this way, I already feel weird and isolated. What I really want is not to feel dangerous or infected. I want someone to hear my words about my feelings without running to get a hazmat suit and a fire extinguisher.
Try to find some connection. Some commonality.
What sounds bad when I want to kill myself is, “Oh weird I never feel that way.”
I’m tempted to respond, “That’s why we aren’t really friends.”
I’m tempted to respond, “That’s why we aren’t really friends.”
What sounds good is, “Been there. What’s going on?”
Or “I have time let’s talk.”
The idea is that I see you are down in the hole and I’m not afraid of catching suicide from you. I’m going to climb down the ladder and hang out because I see you are lonely down there. Then I’m going to climb back out.
I’ve driven 2 friends to the hospital after an overdose. I wasn’t too helpful except that I am a decent driver.
I prefer the call, “Hey man I need help.”
“What’s up?”
“I’m sitting here thinking about eating these pills.”
“I know that feeling let’s talk.”
“What’s up?”
“I’m sitting here thinking about eating these pills.”
“I know that feeling let’s talk.”
Probably most people want to run away. They are afraid of you, your feelings, and maybe of getting hit by the bullet after if goes through you.
It’s super helpful if you can at least act like you aren’t afraid.
It’s super helpful if you can at least act like you aren’t afraid.
It’s sort of like “I have this tumor growing on me. I haven’t shown it to anyone and I’m afraid. If I show it to you will you promise you won’t scream?”
In summary, I’m not suggesting you don’t refer people to professional help if you decide they need it. I’m only suggesting you try to be a person and join a person when they are suffering instead of handing them off and running away.
