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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
, 6 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
I'm stocking up on Kool Aid for my bong
Try all of the retro Funny Face bong water flavors from DaveCo
Joking aside, I want to ask my younger readers to please stay away from flavored vapes. You should only smoke or vape products with rich authentic tobacco flavor.
some ephemera from my misspent youth, some day to hang in the Dave Burge Museum
*"The Dave Burge Museum" will be some wall space at the Highway 20 Casey's in Correctionville Iowa
**my museum proposal was rejected by the Caseys in Holstein, Moville, and the Lawton Pronto
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
Say what you want about Trump University, but it only conned its students out of $1500 and probably provided free snacks
some people think we are in a decline, but I'm telling you we are currently in a fucking Camelot for con artists
I only wish I could stay sober long enough to follow through on my plan to bilk every last one of you beautiful, gullible idiots out of your last nickel
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
Absolutely no one, anywhere, in human history:

NY Times:
take THAT *checks notes* reactionary anti-lady-pooping forces of the patriarchy
out: navel gazing
in: anus gazing
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
just as the mysterious Gypsy woman foretold
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Be right back, writing my new blockbuster disaster movie Splooging Inferno
I knew Australia had 1000 ways to kill you, but this one was news to me
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