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, 3 tweets, 1 min read
.@AlyssaRosenberg (Over dinner, seriously): I have to ask you about something that's been bothering me all day.

ME (with trepidation): Okay...

ALYSSA: You know in Lord of the Rings, the human who kills Sauron and takes the One Ring?

ME: Oh, Isildur. Obviously. (1/2)
@AlyssaRosenberg ALYSSA: Right, Isildur. So when he decides to keep the ring, why doesn't Elrond just murder him and throw him into Mount Doom?

Reader, I married her. (2/2)
The 👏 Last 👏 Alliance 👏 Of 👏 Elves 👏 And 👏 Men 👏 Isn't 👏 A 👏 Suicide 👏 Pact 👏
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More from @MattGertz see all

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Matthew Gertz
@MattGertz
By popular demand.

Left, Fox's Shepard Smith Reporting, 3 p.m.

"Time to meet Igor and Lev. They reportedly enjoyed lunch hours ago with one Rudy Giuliani."

Right, The Atlantic

At 3 PM, Giuliani reportedly shouts "asshole" at the TV.
All three cables were covering Parnas/Fruman/Giuliani at the top of the 3 p.m. hour. But Rudy is most likely to be watching Fox, and of the three, Shep's segment seems the most likely to trigger a shouted "asshole" to me.
This is pure, unadulterated venom.
Read 3 tweets
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Matthew Gertz
@MattGertz
I've been traveling for the last several days. I'll use this thread to catch up on Trump's Fox tweets since last Friday evening.
1. Friday, 6:15 p.m.

Trump tweets video featuring Fox coverage.
2. Friday.

Left, Fox's Special Report, 6:05 p.m.
Right, Trump, 6:27 p.m.
Read 81 tweets
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Matthew Gertz
@MattGertz
There was a time Republican senators said that it would have been bad if Trump had sought help from foreign governments to swing an election, but he hadn't done it. Now he's openly admitting that that's what he's doing, so they're fine with the behavior.
Everything related to the whistleblower is moot. He's publicly asking countries that have weak or no rule of law and stand to benefit from U.S. policy to investigate his political opponents. Either that's acceptable or it isn't.
.@pbump has this at post-length, check it out washingtonpost.com/politics/2019/…
Read 3 tweets

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Linda Tirado
@KillerMartinis
Okay folks grab your bourbon because we’re doing this and tbh? It is amazingly bad. Leg-slappingly bad. The kind of bad we all hoped Ivanka’s book would be.

We’ll commence shortly!
This really only happened because I was tipsy and actually wondered what the left’s plot to remake America is, the left can’t seem to get its shit together enough to really say

But this lady apparently got the memo, so! We begin!
For those of you who are new here, this is part of an ongoing series in which I review silly or pseudo-important books

You can feel free to chip in on the bar tab at PayPal.me/riseandbeheard or Venmo linda-tirado-3

We’re gonna need the beer is all I’m saying, this one’s wild
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TMV 🌐 Research
@BanksyArtist
🔸1
@PeteButtigieg the "breath of life" in the Bible is NOT meant as breathing as in lungs.
The root word used in the original Hebrew text is RUACH, which is the word SPIRIT of Life.
Which means God gave man/woman the spirit it of life. It is later translated into English as
🔸2
Breath because the spirit is also like the wind, invisible but can be felt.
This can confirmed by other Bible verses couple of verses.
@PeteButtigieg
BREATH" is intended as "spirit"
God's Spirit (life) is in the blood
🔸3
Leviticus 17:14 - For [it is] the life of all flesh; the blood of it [is] for the life thereof: therefore I said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall eat the blood of no manner of flesh: for the life of all flesh [is] the blood.
Read 22 tweets
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Nosferatu V. Karenina
@NosferatuVK
It’s #Monday, I’m boozing it up at a 4 seat bar, the #barkeep is a long pourer, and I’m all fucking set if I get something stuck between my teeth.👇🙃 #RandomThoughts #drinking #OutAndAbout
Shooting the shit with a friend, she’s proud to be doing well with her plants - unusual for her.

The key was a #video explaining the benefits of pruning.

She needs REASONS. She got them.

Apparently, pruning in a particular manner stimulates growth hormones.
#RandomThoughts
Of course, this led to me initiating a discussion about the #movie I just watched on Hulu, called “The German Doctor.”

The main character was Josef Mengele. #ThisHappened

People, this is why I’m known in my circles as “The Black Hole Of Conversation.” SMTH
#RandomThoughts
Read 239 tweets
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Richard James
@RichJamesBits
I have reached a whole new level of #PISSEDOFF.

I didnt think such a #dark and #scary state, or level, could be reached. It may top 12-14-17's causation. It's. That. Bad. So, I've prepared a statement...

docs.google.com/document/d/1_J…

#PascoSheriff #HaveYouAllNoShame @CigarCityBeer
Dear @FBI,
I must implore you ask your colleauges in @FBITampa to help research this new level of #PISSEDOFFNESS. As locals, they may offer a special indepth knowledge of this new level I have reached. This is not fair & law enforcement must #investigate. No one deserves this.
This is my #apogee of #Pissedoffness.
If #motherfuckers & #tears werent a noticable level.
If #HUSH or #INTIMIDATION tactics being deployed didnt strike a chord.
If #EVIDENCE, PROOF, or 30k Bonds didnt #WOW YOU.
If posting mom with no shred of investigatable value wasnt enough...
Read 463 tweets
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Richard James
@RichJamesBits
I have other airing out to do- I'll start sometime before #LivePD starts. I can unequivocally prove a KNOWING, SPANNING, & HIGHLY ILLEGAL PLOT, that violated every last right, every iota of sanctity, and does implicate, Judges, Sheriff Employees, Multiple Public Defenders, etc..
I know this is probably pissing in the wind, but, hey @PascoSheriff #PascoSheriff @ChrisNocco think I can get the 1-24-19 courtroom video? You know, the one where public defenders try to SET ME UP & ATTACK ME? In knowing allowance and knowing participation with the judge no less?
You all know, the day where false #discoveries were slammed in my lap to goad me on to outburst as my lawyer got LOUD ON PURPOSE? Where I finally got back subpoened evidence that was purposely kept from me for a year and half? #LivePD doesnt though, so for refreshers....
Read 67 tweets
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G 💫
@moonchildtaeguk
Okay but a Taekook au where Jungkook’s girlfriend starts to flirt with Taehyung and Taehyung dodges her every time until he finally snaps and tells her he’d much rather fuck her boyfriend than fuck her.
I really didn’t think a random idea would get this many likes but what you want is what you’ll get
I’ll start this tomorrow or possibly tonight 🧡
Read 147 tweets

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