#AmazingGrady, Day 10

Me: "Hey there. Just came back to check on you."
Him: "Lawd. Did you come back to bug me about that pill some more?"
Me: "You mean the PrEP? Nah. Well. I mean, I do want you to take it. But I legit came to check on you."
Him: "Mmmm hmmmm."

Him: "You a dog on a bone, you know that?"
Me: "Me?"
Him: "Yeah, YOU. But for real. . .I'm pretty low key. I don't need that pill. I ain't out like that, feel me?"


Him: "What?"
Me: *shrugs*
Him: "Why you so pressed for me to take this pill?"
Me: "Because. I care about you."


Me: "So--tell me again why you aren't feeling it?"
Him: "I don't want nobody experimenting on me. Or using me to get paid."
Me: " Tell me what you mean by that."
Him: "Look. I ain't even out like that. So I'm good." *turns up TV*
Me: "I was coming to see how your nausea was. Did the medicine we gave you help?"
Him: "A lot, thanks."


Him: "Let me ask you something."
Me: "I'm listening."
Him: "If I was your brother--or your son. . . would you be wanting me to take this prevention pill?"
Me: "Oh hells yes."
Him: *laughter* "Wait. Can you say that?"
Me: "Probably not. Unless you're talking about PrEP."


Him: "Real talk. So even if he wasn't with a whole lot of different folks like that?"
Me: "I would."
Him: "Would you take it yourself?"
My immediate thought was that I would. But, to honor his question, I decided to be honest. As a cisgender woman in a monogamous relationship with a man, I'd never really had to imagine myself taking PrEP. Which means I hadn't fully considered what I was asking of him.

And so. I told him just that.

But then, after thinking, I told him how I felt.

Me: "I would."
Him: "You would?"
Me: "I would."


I told him about some of the side effects. And admitted that I hate the feeling of nausea so that might give me pause.
He asked if I thought it was all an experiment like Tuskegee. I paused to respect the question.

Me: "No. I don't think so."
Him: "That was crazy what happened to those brothers."
Me: *shaking my head* "Awful."


Me: "You know? My granddad was in Tuskegee then."
Him: "Word? Was he experimented on?"
Me: "Fortunately no. He was a college student there, though."
Him: "Damn."


Him: "Okay, but what if I ain't even with a lot of people like that?"
Me: "I don't want you to think I think that."
Him: *sighs*
Him: "You ever think about what if your granddaddy had got shot up with syphilis, too?"
Me: "Honestly? Before this minute? Not fully."
Him: "I be scared of all this stuff coming out. How am I supposed to know this ain't the same thing?"


What do you say to that?
So here's what happened next:

I acknowledged his concerns and the atrocities that happened to men like him in the name of science. I listened. I spoke to #ID and gathered more expert advice and came back with more information.

And asked him to think about it.
Him: "I haven't made up my mind yet. But I'm thinking on it."
Me: *nods*
Him: "I 'preciate you being a dog on a bone."


Him: "Hey--I'm glad your granddaddy wasn't in that number."
Me: *silence*
Him: "Real talk? People be scared for a reason, feel me?"


This patient was in a high risk group. I'm grateful that he shared his valid concerns with me. Sometimes I get so hyperfocused on getting patients to yes without respecting their valid why.

But real talk? People be scared for a reason.


#workinprogress #PrEP
Added reflection:

Here’s an image of my grandparents taken on the campus of Tuskegee circa 1941.

Just thought of this. . . My OWN mom was born IN Tuskegee IN the study hospital in 1947—the very same year penicillin became standard tx for syphilis.

🤔😯 #truestory
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh.

Enjoying this thread?

Keep Current with Kimberly Manning, MD

Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!