People do due diligence for business deals but fail to apply the same level of rigour to friendship or relationships, where character matters more.
Get the facts, give enough time to test for character, form true friendship to help modulate one another and to build trust.
I have come to the sad conclusion that our wiring in Nigeria deemphasises friendship, even in relationships. We don't rate it at all. Thus, our path in life is extremely hard.
We produce malformed human beings who only build one aspect of their lives - the functional, which encompasses work, sex and societal status. We live malnourished emotional and spiritual lives.
We don't even form friendship with God. It's a transactional relationship predicated on sin and want. God rarely talks to or guides us. There is no intimacy or vulnerability. No quality or vibrancy. No light or joy.
Friendship is what brings richness to life. It is what makes each day soft. It gives you something to look forward to beyond the daily grind. It is a support and relationship that completely acknowledges all of you, not the cosmetic parts. It values everything you bring.
Everything becomes more enhanced - whether pedantic living or luxurious getaways. You suddenly have a treasure trove of resources for life and business. The feeling of aloneness in a cruel world diminishes. You are part of a tribe. You finally matter.
People who meet members of the opposite sex and immediately think sex or romance are playing out a script - one of dangerous premature liaisons with strangers. They are gambling with their lives, as if it had no value.
They are bowing to societal expectations of speed. They have little self-awareness and scant self-confidence. They fish in shallow waters for deep people will never be rushed into superficiality - they have too much to lose.
How we have relegated friendship to an ignominious place called "friend zone". We forget that while sex is common and can be bought, friendship is not for sale and has benefits in and of itself.
There are things that are so rare in a country like ours - wisdom, loyalty, integrity, kindness - that it amazes me how we trade them for what is on every street corner - sex.
