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Apparently I should've not copied and pasted things I read on the Internet into Terminal. Managed to demote my user account to a Standard one.

My machine had no other Admin account #FML
This old single-user mode & .AppleSetupDone removal workaround didn't work in Catalina.

theinstructional.com/guides/how-to-…
What finally fixed the issue for me:

1. Cmd+R to enter Recovery mode
2. Enter my account password
3. Use Disk Utilities to mount the FileVault disk (Macintosh HD)
4. `rm /Volumes/Macintosh\ HD\ -\ Data/private/var/db/.AppleSetupDone`
5. `reboot`

[...]
[...]

6. Create a new temp account with admin privilege
7. Log in to that account & promote my existing one to Admin
8. Reboot
9. Log back in to that account & remove the temp one
10. Let out a big sigh

#NoteToSelf
This might also work: Enable the `root` account and use it to promote my standard one.

apple.stackexchange.com/a/373103/2907
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