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It's #InternationalMensDay and I just want to thank my dad, who, when I asked him if it was ok that I didn't want him to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, said "good, that always made me uncomfortable too, you're not something to give away."
My uncles are all fairly conventional older Korean men, somewhat distant from their kids, but my dad never was. I always wonder if it was because he didn't do military service, and he always seemed distinctly uncomfortable with a certain kind of military, patriarchal masculinity.
One time when my mom and I were having a major argument about something (read: full-on screaming fight), my husband got so uncomfortable that he retreated to one of the bedrooms. My dad followed him and said, reassuringly, "Don't be afraid. Sometimes, love is struggle."
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