Sup folks I don’t really tweet all that much any more, and I certainly don’t tweet much that isn’t pretty jokey but this just hit me in a way I can’t ignore so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ get ready I guess?
I grew up the son of a youth pastor/head pastor in a (mostly) progressively theological household. I have a BA in Religious Studies and a M.Div. Benefitted from an amazing youth camp both as a youth and employee. Served as college and youth minister.
I stay as far away from church as I can. I rarely get as angry as I do as when I think about church in almost every capacity. I can’t unsee horrific people, attitudes, and beliefs from top to bottom, both in religious denomination institutions down to certain ministers.
I’ve seen large groups of people in congregations say they believe one way and show their true colors Mon-Sat. I’ve seen ministers completely make an ass of themselves in person and online - repeatedly and without remorse, sometimes without awareness.
I’ve been personally attacked in this way, but I’ve seen countless more people/groups of people continually attacked and oppressed by “Christians” on all parts of the theological spectrum.
I’ve been continually sickened by how Christianity is co-opted as a way to gain power - socially, culturally, emotionally, financially, etc. I feel drowned by it.
The 2016 election has been so eye-opening for so many reasons, but the ways most resonant to me have been how it has reflected how many folks have prostituted faith in order to wield or gain power.
I played in a (frankly phenomenal LET ME FLEX ON THIS PLEASE) worship band during college, and we played Kari Jobe songs nearly every week. The influence and reach that popular Christian artists have is immense within the culture.
Seeing this video is just another example in how Christianity in America can be used as a vehicle for power - whether that is gaining it, or trying so desperately to hold on to it, no matter what the cost.
There’s not a single way a responsible Christian can look at anything this White House is doing and call it “good,” “great,” or even remotely in touch with the teachings of Jesus.
There’s not a single way a responsible Christian can look at anything this White House is doing and call it “good,” “great,” or even remotely in touch with the teachings of Jesus.
One more time for the people in the back - There’s not a single way a responsible Christian can look at anything this White House is doing and call it “good,” “great,” or even remotely in touch with the teachings of Jesus.
There’s absolutely nothing in the world that will ever convince me otherwise, and trying to do so is nothing short of complete foolishness. I won’t apologize for that.
I don’t want ANYTHING to do with a religious institution that clings so strongly to the pursuit of power that I’ve seen since 2016.
I’ve seen it in pastors. I’ve seen it in youth ministers. I’ve seen it in people I’ve known and grown alongside in my faith journey. I’ve seen it on TV. I’ve seen it on social media. I’ve seen it in conservatives. I’ve seen it in progressives.
THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD CHRISTIANS. THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD CHURCHES. THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO REFLECT THE TEACHINGS OF JESUS AND CLAIM IT THROUGH THEIR WHOLE EXISTENCE. I don’t want to downplay this essential truth.
But there are a pervasive amount of people who have perverted American Christianity into something that exhausts me to the core of my being, and I can’t just turn that off.
The video at the top of this thread is an easy example of people who intentionally ignore horrific transgressions of belief in order to selfishly gain or hold onto power, but I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen it - large scale to small scale.
I’m not sure when Ego became more important than Jesus, but I’m so, so, so tired of seeing how much Ego is the leader of Christianity in America these days.
I wish I could say that about only people and groups that I unilaterally disagree with on the theological spectrum, but I think I’m most hurt because it’s across the whole thing.
Christianity in America is deeply sick, and I have trouble finding hope through it all.
I feel it deeply because I was in it so deeply. I’ve never felt so relieved from anything as I have from stepping away from it. I struggle with how great that makes me feel and how awful that makes me feel almost on a daily basis.
I don’t have anything else to say to put a nice bow on all of this, a hopeful cherry on top of this horrendous ice cream Sunday.
Maybe one day I can talk to people about believing in Christianity without feeling shame or having to over-explain myself, but I’m not holding my breath until that day.
I thought I was done but I’m not. I reference the 2016 election not as the binary moment in which some switch turned on and everything changed. I saw much of what I’m talking about before then - I just stopped giving the benefit of the doubt after the election.
I appreciate anybody who has stuck with me through this point of the thread. I really don’t do this for the likes, for the RTs, for the follows, or for the Vine (both literal and metaphorical), but it’s because I feel like I need it in this specific moment of processing trauma.
I used to hesitate using the word trauma when talking about the course of my religious experience over the last 10 years, but then I find myself getting really angry thinking about church and American Christianity and can’t find a more appropriate word choice.
The trauma has built itself slowly. Built through interactions with and observations of people, betrayals both personal and corporate, and through the belief that “I’m just not supposed to feel this way or say these things.”
I don’t mean to speak about this in a way that poo-poos on anyone else’s experience with church or faith. It’s just really hard for me most of the time to feel anything remotely close to positive about most things I see related to religious institutions in America, big and small.
Local churches, CBF, SBC, religious universities, “think tanks with the purpose of bringing back Christian culture to America,” the fact that @PRCHRSNSNKRS has to exist, Kanye Sunday Services, beliefs contrary to the teachings of Jesus living within Supreme Court rulings,
People using social media to either A) constantly say something theologically profound in order to get those likes and RTs in order to have validation as a minister or B) prove that they know more than someone else no matter the cost -
All as a wielding of power within the religious institution - even if the message is something that is aiming to align with Jesus.
The ugly truth that money (or the fear of losing it) makes more decisions within religious institutions than any effort to reflect the teachings of Jesus in any consistent manner - possibly the most diseased portion of the church I’ve seen over the last few years.
All of these things have contributed to my trauma, and all of these things make it easier and easier for me to continue never looking back. I think I could go on, but I’m so exhausted. I’m so exhausted.
I know I could go on, but I’m so exhausted. I’m headed to sleep, folks. Feel free to DM or text me or whatever - I’ll be happy to catch up or have a conversation - but for now, sleep.
