Thread by @Realoilsheikh

THE OBLIGATIONS OF FEEDING & MAINTENANCE OF ONE'S WIVES, & THE PERMISSIBILITY OF HER TO DENY HIM INTIMACY IS HE FAILS TO FEED & MAINTAIN HER

The Islamic Shariah is the biggest mercy to mankind. It is plainly so, because it is not man-made laws, but laws from He who Created Man!

Thus, it is common to see in many customs that the responsibility of feeding & maintenance of a wife comes from her, either in full or in part. In such instances, you see the woman going to farm to cultivate what the family will eat, or doing all forms of business for such.

In the contrary, Islam mandates the man to provide for his wife what to eat, what to drink, what to wear, where to live & other expenses for her maintenance.

Allah (SWT) said in Surat Nisa':

“Men are the protectors& maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”

[Surat An-Nisa; 4:34].

He also said:

“Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him”

[Surat at-Talaq 65:7].

In a Saheeh (authentic) Hadith,

Mu‘awiyah al-Qushayri (RA) said: I said: O Messenger of Allah, what are the rights of the wife of one of us over him?

The Prophet (SAW) said:

“That you feed her as you feed yourself, clothe her as you clothe yourself, do not strike the face, do not disgrace her,

and if you want to shun her (by way of disciplining her) do not leave home.”

Narrated by Abu Dawood (2142) and Ibn Majah (1850); classed as saheeh by Shaykh Nasiruddeen al-Albani (RH) in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

If the husband fails to spend on his wife’s maintenance, then the Islamic Shariah has given her the choice to either leave or she can put up with him, especially if she feels he might change, or his condition might become better, or he is trying to look for other means of living.

And if she chooses to put up with him, the Shariah does not mandate her to have intimacy with him, because he has failed to take up his responsibility as a man!

Ash-Shirazi ash-Shaafi‘i said in al-Muhadhdhab fi Fiqh al-Imam ash-Shaafi‘i (3/155):

"If she chooses to stay after he becomes unable to spend on her, she is not obliged to allow him to be intimate with her, and she may leave his house, because her allowing him to have intimacy is in return for maintenance, so it is not obligatory when there is no maintenance."

A similar opinion by Muhammad Najeeb al-Mutee‘i in his Sharh (20/169):

"If it is proven that the husband is no longer able to spend on her, she has the choice of three options:

a) she may annul the marriage;
b) she may stay with him and allow him to be intimate with her,

and c) she may remain married to him, without having to allow him to be intimate with her – rather she may leave his house, because allowing intimacy is only obligatory upon her when he spends on her maintenance, but he is not doing so in this case....".

It is however important to remind ourselves that this measure is recommended as a punitive action to the man, allowable by the Shariah so that thr man can mend his ways & begin to take his responsibilities serious. The aim of the Shariah is to assure a peaceful coexistence.

Men should be responsible enough to take care of the entire feeding, clothing & maintenance of their wives. This is a right Allaah Has given the wives & children over us. Anything short of that is irresponsible, wicked & unislamic.