Thread by @ArmaniTalks

You can always choose not to get offended.

It FEELS tough. But view it as an internal workout.

Strengthen your emotional muscles. The muscles that you can't see.

Friction is what develops thick skin.

And thick skin has you shrugging off what some go crazy over.

2 major components of EQ are:

-Emotional recognition
-Emotional regulation

Most are unaware of both.

So they become impulsive...

In the real world, learning to control your emotions play a MAJOR role in your social success.

And social success plays a major role in your life as a whole.

You don't need to be buddying up with everyone.

But you should be able to carry yourself with grace

Stupid people aren't going away anytime soon.

And the smarter you get, the more stupid people you'll notice.

-The environment didn't change.

-But your awareness sure did.

So if you can't change the external world.

Then change the internal world.

Learn to work out your emotional muscles.

The invisible muscles which battletest ya

When you go to the gym, what do you do?

'I lift weights.'

But doesn't it hurt?

'Ya, it does.'

So why do you do it?

'Because it allows me to grow.'

Exactly. Friction is good pain when you change your perception

In order to do this, you need to raise your EQ.

Most people ignore EQ because they lack intuition.

They need tests, statistics, research blah blah blah...

They don't have intuition.

They need scientists to hand hold them thru all forms of life.

These group lacks intuition.

You don't need a test.

Just need to tune out the external world & tune into your internal.

And for that, you will need:

-Emotional Recognition
-Emotional Regulation

Let's go thru both...

-Emotional Recognition

You gotta realize this...

'Happy', 'mad', 'sad' are man-made words that dictate your perception.

Gotta see past those words alone

Just seeing the words rather than processing your feelings make you half ass the process.

You feel certain sensations that SORT of feel like sadness.

Then you say: 'I am sad.'

And once you say that, your perception will ensure that you are sad.

The more you build your emotional intelligence, the more you realize that you can be:

-Happy & nervous.

-Sad & hopeful.

-Nervous, excited with a dash of anger.

In order to see past the man made words alone, you need to learn the art of sitting with your emotions.

No reason to react so quick.

Just sit with them & feel the sensations.

Feel the nuances of your body.

That's nature's energy. All a compass towards your destiny.

The more that you learn to sit & FEEL the feelings, the more you recognize your body.

The further your intution develops.

As a beginner, your best time to practice this is when you feel a flux of energy at once.

'Like anger?'

Yep, like anger.

If someone cuts you off, you'll feel road rage.

But use this as an opportunity to sit with the strong sensations.

Let someone have the last word in an argument & feel the sensations.

When you get a mean comment on your Twitter, read it & sit.

Feel the feelings

It'll be tough as fuck.

But just like it's tough to build physical muscles.

It's tough to build emotional muscles.

Use the external world to build your internal.

You'll have the last laugh.

-Emotional Regulation

Recognition leads to regulation.

You can't control what you don't understand.

If you correctly took the time to recognize the different sensations in your body, this stage will be a lot easier.

If you didn't, then this stage feels impossible.

Recognition is important because you detach your identity from the sensations of your body.

When you detach yourself from the sensations, you are able to use it.

You have graduated from reactive to responsive.

-Reactive= impulsive creature.

-Responsive = strategic creature.

Regulation comes down to CHOOSING the perception.

Once you recognize the feelings, attach the perception that you decide.

If you can view all changes in energy as an internal workout, then you ultimately see the bigger picture.

This leads to perceptions which favor you

Whenever you feel offended:

1. Recognize by analyzing the sensations in your body.
2. Regulate by choosing the perceptions which favor you.

That's it.

Your ego makes you think that when someone offends you, that it was a direct attack on your identity.

More often than not, it has more to do about them, than you.

If you don't believe me, think about the last time YOU got angry.

Pretty sure it was more about you, not them.

Toughening your skin is a High ROI investment for your future.

When you can FEEL what most can't see (emotional muscles) you realize that your day is littered with opportunities to get stronger internally.

That's checkmate.

What others go CRAZY over, you shrug off.

It's because those individuals don't see the bigger picture.

They just see the pixel.

All good, they will learn one point at another.

Hopefully.

Control what you can control.

Yourself.

That's how you build thick skin & maintain your happiness during what many consider darkness.

For more practical EQ tips, follow @ArmaniTalks