If you look CLOSELY at charismatic people, they aren't talking that much.
Most of them follow the 70/30 rule.
70% listening.
30% talking.
But when they do speak?
They do so with enthusiasm and intent.
Their words carry more weight than a rambler.
Most of them follow the 70/30 rule.
70% listening.
30% talking.
But when they do speak?
They do so with enthusiasm and intent.
Their words carry more weight than a rambler.
There are 2 kinds of quiet people..
-Bad quiet = Boring
-Good quiet = Charismatic
Quiet gets a bad rep because you're more focused on the word vs. the character trait.
Time for a Social 101 lesson 👇
-Bad quiet = Boring
-Good quiet = Charismatic
Quiet gets a bad rep because you're more focused on the word vs. the character trait.
Time for a Social 101 lesson 👇
Before talking about quiet, let's make 1 important distinction.
Is shy & quiet the same?
'Uhh... yea!'
Incorrect.
Is shy & quiet the same?
'Uhh... yea!'
Incorrect.
-Quiet people can say more if they want to. But they choose not to.
-Shy people want to say more. But feel self-conscious when doing so.
From the outside, they look the same.
Internally, they are different.
The quiet person is calm.
The shy person has some chaos.
-Shy people want to say more. But feel self-conscious when doing so.
From the outside, they look the same.
Internally, they are different.
The quiet person is calm.
The shy person has some chaos.
You can overcome shyness by:
-Path 1: Incrementally talking more in social interactions. Slower route.
-Path 2: Public speaking. Faster route.
-Path 3: A combo of path 1 & 2.
-Path 1: Incrementally talking more in social interactions. Slower route.
-Path 2: Public speaking. Faster route.
-Path 3: A combo of path 1 & 2.
'Once I overcome shyness, I'll be talking A LOT, right?'
Some people do.
But many don't.
They graduate from shy -> quiet.
Some people do.
But many don't.
They graduate from shy -> quiet.
'Wait what? Why did I work so hard to just be quiet? Isn't that a bad thing?'
Not really.
I define quiet as when you listen more than you talk.
But there are subsections.
The bad & the good...
Not really.
I define quiet as when you listen more than you talk.
But there are subsections.
The bad & the good...
-Bad Quiet
This person is boring.
They make little to no effort to keep the conversation going.
Pretty much just wait to be asked questions.
Very little effort.
This person is boring.
They make little to no effort to keep the conversation going.
Pretty much just wait to be asked questions.
Very little effort.
Being boring is a social sin.
And you become boring when you seem disinterested in your conversation partner.
Doesn't matter how good looking you are.
In order to build social assets, you need an attractive personality.
And this ain't it.
And you become boring when you seem disinterested in your conversation partner.
Doesn't matter how good looking you are.
In order to build social assets, you need an attractive personality.
And this ain't it.
-Good Quiet
This person knows the art of charisma.
Charisma comes down to making the other person feel important.
'I thought charisma was about getting others to like me?'
Nope. That's the wrong strategy.
This person knows the art of charisma.
Charisma comes down to making the other person feel important.
'I thought charisma was about getting others to like me?'
Nope. That's the wrong strategy.
Humans feel high pleasure talking about themselves. Similar pleasure to having sex.
And the charismatic person knows to guide the conversation rather than dominate it.
Guiding often has you listening more than blabbering away
And the charismatic person knows to guide the conversation rather than dominate it.
Guiding often has you listening more than blabbering away
But when this group does speak, they have enthusiasm & intent in their voice.
Their words hold power.
So much power that it seems like they have been speaking the entire time.
Their words hold power.
So much power that it seems like they have been speaking the entire time.
But no...
Look closer.
They have mastered the art of listening.
So they aren't asking irrelevant questions & bringing up topics that don't pertain to the convo.
They know how to stay on track & adjust when needed.
Look closer.
They have mastered the art of listening.
So they aren't asking irrelevant questions & bringing up topics that don't pertain to the convo.
They know how to stay on track & adjust when needed.
The 70/30 rule is:
70% listening & 30% speaking.
You can obviously adjust based on the person that you are speaking too.
If the individual is shy, then alter the numbers to favor speaking.
70% listening & 30% speaking.
You can obviously adjust based on the person that you are speaking too.
If the individual is shy, then alter the numbers to favor speaking.
Listening has you learning..
-A smart man learns from their mistakes.
-A wise man learns from someone else's mistakes.
And most of the time people are telling you a story, it's their mistakes wrapped up in a humor form.
So pick up the signs & apply the mistakes to your life
-A smart man learns from their mistakes.
-A wise man learns from someone else's mistakes.
And most of the time people are telling you a story, it's their mistakes wrapped up in a humor form.
So pick up the signs & apply the mistakes to your life
Learn the art of saying more by saying less.
Your words hold power when you aren't always using words.
That's the trick to charisma.
Your words hold power when you aren't always using words.
That's the trick to charisma.
Be allergic to boring.
And be allergic to rambling.
Listen before you speak & deliver your words with power.
That's the way of social intelligence.
For more practical insights into charisma, follow @ArmaniTalks
And be allergic to rambling.
Listen before you speak & deliver your words with power.
That's the way of social intelligence.
For more practical insights into charisma, follow @ArmaniTalks
