Last year, I declined a juicy job offer because I didn't want to create a compromising situation for myself. Prior to that time, my potential employer and I were great friends and I was working as an intern in his organisation. Working together kinda made us fond of each other.
I started catching feelings, but did well to hide it (or so I thought). Not too long after, He caught feelings too. He asked me out, but I declined because of personal reasons. Lol. Uncle kept trying for a whole year. When he didn't get green light, he moved on and got married.
I was happy he got married and I continued my work at the office and tried to maintain a platonic relationship with him. After some months, I discovered I still really liked him. Lol.
He didn't make it any easy for me as he was giving me special treatment at work. 🙄
He didn't make it any easy for me as he was giving me special treatment at work. 🙄
After my internship, he offered a permanent position. The pay was good, I liked my job description and the work environment. I was seriously considering taking the job until one day we were having an unofficial gist after work and his phone rang. It was his wife calling...
He rejected her calls twice. I was surprised and asked why he did that considering the fact that he wasn't busy at that time. His response was "abeg, leave that woman, sheybi I will talk to her when I get home. I look forward to seeing you and gisting with you everyday"
To be honest, I liked the fact that someone was looking forward to seeing me everyday. More so, someone I also had a crush on. Hehehe. A part of me felt bad that a man ignored his wife because he was having casual gist with me.
I went home that night confused.
I went home that night confused.
I eventually got home and prayed about the job offer. I really wanted the job but here was I catching feelings for my boss. After praying, what I heard was "Man, know thyself!". Oh yes! That was my answer. The truth is, at that time, I knew my self control was just not there yet.
I wasn't strong enough to 'stand and fight'. I needed to quietly take a walk. It was painful, but I had to do it. Not for my boss, but FOR MYSELF.
Sometimes, you need to do hard, selfish, irrational or 'senseless' things in order to protect yourself. That is simply life.
Sometimes, you need to do hard, selfish, irrational or 'senseless' things in order to protect yourself. That is simply life.
With respect to the Pastor Adeboye tweet, I see a lot of people shouting "doesn't he have self control?" Yes, that is true that the Holy Spirit empowers us with that fruit, but let's also remember that we are all different different and our growth pace varies.
There are levels to self-control. As a matter of fact, I think that man exhibited a level. It is definitely not easy to cut off from a relationship you love. I bet it must have been painful for him and the secretary but at that time, it was the best way to protect himself.
Yes, we are soldiers of Christ but it is not everytime you have to test your strength/show yourself by pulling out sword to fight. Sometimes, drop the sword and walk away.
As Christians, we really need to discern and choose our battles carefully. Remember Peter and Marcus? Ahap!
As Christians, we really need to discern and choose our battles carefully. Remember Peter and Marcus? Ahap!
