The key to charisma is unlocking your inner kid & maintaining the structure of an adult.
A kid doesn't take themselves too seriously.
They are fully present & can make something out of nothing.
However, they are wild. Tame that with the adult side.
Balancing act
A kid doesn't take themselves too seriously.
They are fully present & can make something out of nothing.
However, they are wild. Tame that with the adult side.
Balancing act
'Why am I going to act like a kid? I'm a grown ass man.'
Because it's strategic.
'You sure about this one?'
Positive ...
Because it's strategic.
'You sure about this one?'
Positive ...
Why do you struggle in interactions?
'Because I don't know the right things to say.'
And why do you think that is an issue?
'Because I'm not a clever person..'
Incorrect. You're only seeing surface level
Gotta go deeper champ
'Because I don't know the right things to say.'
And why do you think that is an issue?
'Because I'm not a clever person..'
Incorrect. You're only seeing surface level
Gotta go deeper champ
'Alright I give up. What's causing me to stall?'
Embarrassment.
Most of your social mistakes can be contributed to the fear of embarrassment.
Embarrassment.
Most of your social mistakes can be contributed to the fear of embarrassment.
In the social world, there is a thing called social value.
And social value is:
1. Your perception of yourself in context to others.
2. Others perception of you.
1 plays a SIGNIFICANT factor on 2.
And social value is:
1. Your perception of yourself in context to others.
2. Others perception of you.
1 plays a SIGNIFICANT factor on 2.
You fear embarrassment around individuals that YOU assign a higher social value to.
You don't fear embarrassment to people in the same or lower social value.
'Hm..example?'
Sure.
You don't fear embarrassment to people in the same or lower social value.
'Hm..example?'
Sure.
☆Same Social Value: Your best friend.
You guys have mutual respect for one another.
And there is no state of embarrassment.
Just a state of 'it is what it is.'
You guys have mutual respect for one another.
And there is no state of embarrassment.
Just a state of 'it is what it is.'
☆Lower Social Value: Your Little Brother.
This isn't to indicate that you don't respect your brother.
But more so that you have more life experience. So you guide them.
You serve as a mentor.
And still, there is mutual respect.
No embarrassment.
This isn't to indicate that you don't respect your brother.
But more so that you have more life experience. So you guide them.
You serve as a mentor.
And still, there is mutual respect.
No embarrassment.
'So what makes me assign someone a higher social value?'
Few reasons:
☆higher position- manager, mentor, elder.
☆unfamiliarity- someone you are JUST meeting. That you don't want to risk offending.
Few reasons:
☆higher position- manager, mentor, elder.
☆unfamiliarity- someone you are JUST meeting. That you don't want to risk offending.
Assigning someone a higher social value is not a bad thing.
But allowing it to warp your behaviors due to fear of 'messing up' is a bad thing.
The more you fear messing up, the more you mess up.
But allowing it to warp your behaviors due to fear of 'messing up' is a bad thing.
The more you fear messing up, the more you mess up.
That's where unlocking your inner child becomes key.
'And how do I learn to unlock my inner child.'
It's not a process of learning homie.
It's a process of REDISCOVERING...
'And how do I learn to unlock my inner child.'
It's not a process of learning homie.
It's a process of REDISCOVERING...
How does a child behave?
'Very loose & carefree.'
And how do you behave when you are getting comfortable around someone?
'Very loose & carefree.'
Seeing a pattern?
'By golly, I am!!'
'Very loose & carefree.'
And how do you behave when you are getting comfortable around someone?
'Very loose & carefree.'
Seeing a pattern?
'By golly, I am!!'
So the inner child already exists within you.
The first step to unlocking it is by bringing conscious awareness to how you act around people that you're comfortable with.
This gives you a solid understanding of your baseline state among humans.
The first step to unlocking it is by bringing conscious awareness to how you act around people that you're comfortable with.
This gives you a solid understanding of your baseline state among humans.
Next, you wanna study:
1. Spotlight effect - when you think there is an spotlight on you in social interactions. This causes you to over think.
☆There is no spotlight.
2. Illusion of transparency - when you think uncomfortable feelings are leaking to the public.
☆It isn't.
1. Spotlight effect - when you think there is an spotlight on you in social interactions. This causes you to over think.
☆There is no spotlight.
2. Illusion of transparency - when you think uncomfortable feelings are leaking to the public.
☆It isn't.
Studying these 2 laws bring even more conscious awareness to your behaviors.
You'll be extra mindful when you are caught acting stiff near someone who your subconscious mind considers higher social value.
Behavior will go back to the baseline state.
You'll be extra mindful when you are caught acting stiff near someone who your subconscious mind considers higher social value.
Behavior will go back to the baseline state.
Remember, people like authenticity, not perfection.
Even people who are your mentors...
They don't want you to act like you have a stick up your ass.
They want you to relax around them
Even people who are your mentors...
They don't want you to act like you have a stick up your ass.
They want you to relax around them
We have mirror neurons which allow us to empathize.
And when you are very tense, it makes the other person feel tense.
That's not how a charismatic person rolls.
And when you are very tense, it makes the other person feel tense.
That's not how a charismatic person rolls.
But just because you're unlocking your inner child doesn't mean you lose decorum.
That's where the adult side comes in.
The adult side is able to tame the raw energy & present it in a beautiful package.
So remember that it's a balancing act.
Don't overdue one side.
That's where the adult side comes in.
The adult side is able to tame the raw energy & present it in a beautiful package.
So remember that it's a balancing act.
Don't overdue one side.
The goal of charisma is to turn:
☆Formal situations into informal ones.
Read that again.
☆Formal situations into informal ones.
Read that again.
No one enters a conversation and thinks:
'Gee whiz, I hope to have a VERY formal experience today!'
Instead all humans want the same things:
☆To laugh, talk about themselves, learn & be heard.
No need to over complicate it.
'Gee whiz, I hope to have a VERY formal experience today!'
Instead all humans want the same things:
☆To laugh, talk about themselves, learn & be heard.
No need to over complicate it.
That's the key to charisma, my friend.
Charisma is a skill.
Which means it can be learned, practiced & mastered.
You just gotta have humility & recognize there's always more to learn
Charisma is a skill.
Which means it can be learned, practiced & mastered.
You just gotta have humility & recognize there's always more to learn
The world opens doors for charismatic people.
Accomplish way more by doing less.
That's the way in the level up world.
For more practical social skills tips, follow @ArmaniTalks 🌍🚀
Accomplish way more by doing less.
That's the way in the level up world.
For more practical social skills tips, follow @ArmaniTalks 🌍🚀
