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Okay, I give up. I’m throwing in the towel.

I believe the president. And I believe in the president.

We must all believe.

Please click and recite with me:
I believe the Senate is right to acquit the president. I believe a fair trial is one with no witnesses, and that the trial was therefore fair. I believe the House was unfair because it found evidence against him.

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I believe the Democratic National Committee server is in Ukraine, where CrowdStrike hid it.

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I believe the president can spell. I believe any spelling mistakes he makes are because he’s a very busy man who doesn’t watch much TV, or because he’s intentionally triggering the libs.

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I believe it would be okay for the president to say he grabs women by their p-----s, because he’s a star and is allowed to do that. But I believe he didn’t say that, because I believe the “Access Hollywood” tape was doctored, because he said it was.

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I believe E. Jean Carroll lied when she accused the president of rape, because he said she’s not his type.

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I believe windmills are bad and cause cancer.

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I believe the president is a good Christian, because TV pastors say so, and that it’s okay he doesn’t ask for God’s forgiveness, because he doesn’t need to, since he’s the Chosen One.

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I believe two Corinthians are better than one.

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I believe the president cares deeply about corruption, and that he can find Ukraine on a map.

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I believe former national security adviser John Bolton has no relevant testimony because he didn’t leave the White House on good terms.
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I believe Hurricane Dorian was headed straight for Alabama. I believe the president’s map wasn’t altered with a Sharpie, and that if it was, he didn’t do it, since he didn’t need to because he was right.

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I believe the president didn’t know Michael Cohen was paying off porn star Stormy Daniels, and that Cohen did it on his own, because the president had no reason to pay her off. I believe the president was reimbursing Cohen for his legal expertise.

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I believe the president has made tremendous progress building the wall, that Mexico paid for it, and that it will stop those caravans cold.

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I believe the president is a very stable genius, and that he repeatedly tells us so because it’s true.
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I believe the president didn’t call Apple’s CEO “Tim Apple,” and that he said “Tim Cook of Apple” really, really fast, but that if he did say “Tim Apple,” it was to save words, which he always tries to do.

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I believe the president’s call was perfect.

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I believe Mueller was conflicted because he quit one of the president’s golf clubs, and that he and his Angry Democrats conducted a Witch Hunt to destroy the president.

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But I believe Mueller totally exonerated the president, and found no collusion and no obstruction.

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I believe the president wants to release his taxes but hasn’t because he’s under audit, which is why he has fought all the way to the Supreme Court not to disclose them. I believe he will disclose them when the audit is over.

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I believe Ukraine interfered with the 2016 election, and that the intelligence community’s suggestion otherwise is a Deep State lie.

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I believe President Barack Obama placed a “tapp” on the president’s phones in 2016, and that the Russia investigation was a plot to keep him from winning, even though the plotters didn’t think he could win.

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I believe the president is truthful. I believe the Fake News media lied each of the 16,241 times they have said he has made a false or misleading claim.

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