Thread by @jessnevins

Anyone interested in a story about a bad-ass Viking woman?

So in the 9th century, on the island of Hebrides (north of Ireland), you had some Norse Hebrideans ready to go a-Viking. They had their eyes on Ireland. Their leaders were Ivar & Olaf the White.

They invaded Ireland, and set up shop in & around what's now Dublin.

1/

A neighboring Irish king was Kjarval, who wanted to rule all of Ireland. Ivar & Olar agreed to help him. Their alliance was sealed by marriages. The three daughters of Ketil Flatnose, King of the Hebrides, were available. So Kjarval married Jor-Unn Wisdom Slope.

2/

Kjarval's grandson, Helgi the Lean, married Thor-Unn Horned. Olaf the White, he married Aud-Unn Deep Minded.

It's Aud-Unn of whom the skalds sang, & for good reason.

Kjarval, Ivar & Olaf had it pretty good in Ireland for about decade. But the Irish eventually killed them.
3/

The three sisters were in trouble. So Thor-Unn and her husband left for Iceland. Kjarval turned coat, rediscovered his Irishness, and sided with the Irish against the Norse, and tried to kick Jor-Unn into the street, but she outlived Kjarval & moved to Iceland after he died.

4/

Aud-Unn went back to her dad and introduced him to her son, Thorstein the Red. The two got on well, and grampa taught Thorstein the ways of combat & piracy. Thorstein goes to Scotland with his wife & has a bunch of children, including youngest son Olaf. (Keep him in mind).

5/

Thorstein ends up ruling half of Scotland before the Scots did for him.

This leaves Aud-Unn in a tough spot. Her father and son ar both dead. She has no land in the Hebrides.

So she asks Olaf for advice. His response? "Whatever you think best, Grandmother." (Wise boy).

6/

Aud-Unn offers her best thrall, Koll, a deal: if he can persuade the other slaves to build her a ship so they can bug out of Scotland for Iceland, Aud-Unn will free Koll once they arrive, give him land *and* one of her granddaughters as a wife.

It's a deal!

7/

They work all winter and sneak out of Scotland (around two dozen of them) before the locals could discover how weak Aud-Unn was and kill them. They land in the Orkneys & get the ship refurbished in exchange for another one of Aud-Unn's granddaughters as a wife.

8/

("From this line all the Jarls of the Orkneys descend").

They sail to the Faroe Islands and repeat the process. (From that granddaughter "stems the greatest family line in the Islands").

They eventually arrive in Iceland.

9/

Just Aud-Unn, her female relatives, her thralls, & as much of her father's wealth which Aud-Unn could pack before leaving. Which was a *lot*. Aud-Unn was now the wealthiest woman in Iceland.

Aud-Unn burns her boat. Nobody gets to sneak away from Aud-Unn, esp. w/her wealth.
10/

She announces her presence to her brother Helgi, who invites only Aud-Unn & 9 of her group to winter with him. This angers Aud-Unn, who then invites herself over to brother Bjorn's house.

Bjorn's a pagan, Aud-Unn isn't. Bjorn was a warrior & a Viking & stiff-necked. But--

11/

Aud-Unn is Aud-Unn, & Bjorn's afraid of her. So he invites her entire group to winter w/him.

That spring, Unn takes one of Bjorn's ships and starts sailing around Iceland, looking for the right place to settle. Everywhere she lands is later named after what she did there.

12/

Dogurdarness ("Breakfast Point") where Aud-Unn had a meal, Kambsness, where she lost a comb, etc.

She finally finds some wide-open spaces and claims them all. One valley she granted to Koll & one of her granddaughters on their wedding day. (Aud-Unn kept her promises).

13/

Various other granddaughters married various prominent Icelanders. Aud-Unn then frees all of her slaves & gives them land. They in turn go on to play a significant part in the settlement of Iceland.

One last thing that needs doing, though: Aud-Unn needs to marry Olaf off.

14/

"Grandson! It's time that you were married. Who do you want for a bride?"
"Whoever you chose, Grandmother."
"Good boy."

So Aud-Unn sends her peg-legged [sic] emissary, Onund Tree-Foot [sic], back to the Hebrides to get a certain noblewoman's hand in marriage for Olaf.

15/

Aud-Unn's plan stood revealed: the Hebridean Norse would again reign supreme, over Orkneys, Faroes, Iceland, and Hebrides, through all of Aud-Unn's family ties--and Aud-Unn would be at the center of it.

It didn't work out in the long run, of course, but it was a nice try.

16/

The wedding is a spectacle. Everyone who is anyone in Iceland attends. So did Thor-unn & her husband. Only Jor-Unn (kinda estranged) declines the invitation.

It's the kind of wedding which is remembered for a generation or more.

But--and there's always a but.

17/

Aud-Unn is well on in years.

"By now, old age was weighing heavily upon Unn; she never rose before noon and always went early to bed. …she would give an irate reply if anyone asked about her health." #hero

And everyone has their greedy eyes on Aud-Unn's land & wealth.

18/

And Aud-Unn--"Aud-Unn Deep Minded," remember--knows this, and knows that once she dies, the knives will come out.

So at the party she makes a formal announcement: grandson Olaf immediately gets everything! The house, the land, the jewels--it's all his, now.

19/

Context: if she died without passing on her wealth, everyone could make a claim that they deserved some of it, most of it, or all of it, depending on their status, relationship to her, and ability to enforce their claim.

Families had killed each other over much less.

20/

But a public announcement of "I just gave it all away! I own nothing any more! All I got left is my ass, and y'all can kiss that"? In front of a crowd of Iceland's best? That was the equivalent of an iron-clad will.

21/

Essentially, Aud-Unn Deep Minded prevented a bloodbath by her announcement and secured, in her mind, the future dominance of the Hebridean Norse. It's just that it would be through Olaf, not Aud-Unn herself.

Aud-Unn goes off to bed after the announcement.

22/

"Unn was tall and stoutly-built. She walked briskly down the length of the hall and those present remarked how stately she still was."

The next morning they find her sitting up in bed, dead. She got a full Viking burial--her own burning ship with many valuables on it.

23/

She'd known she was dying, so she arranged her own funeral feast to coincide with Olaf's wedding. And she got to attend her own funeral feast, to boot.

They called her "Deep Minded" for a reason.

24/fin