I'm so tired of people preaching at me about what forgiveness is or isn't, that I'm reluctant to even talk about it anymore. Too many Christians think we have to forgive everyone. But that's impossible.
Not even God forgives everyone.
Do you think you're better than God?
Not even God forgives everyone.
Do you think you're better than God?
When God forgives someone, that person is reconciled completely with God. As Jesus indicates in The Lord's Prayer, we're to model our forgiveness after His. It doesn't matter what I want forgiveness to mean, or what you want it to mean. All that matters is what God says it means.
However, God only forgives the genuinely repentant. My abuser is not repentant. So stop telling me to forgive everyone, and stop telling me that if I forgive it's for me and not for my abuser. IF I forgive it's by God and for God, not me, and definitely not some pigheaded perv.
When I was a child I was told, "If you forgive your dad, maybe he'll see Jesus in you, and change."
Works.
As an adult, I was threatened, "If you don't forgive me, Jesus won't forgive you."
Works.
So, be careful how you talk to me on this. I am sick of lies and bent truth.
Works.
As an adult, I was threatened, "If you don't forgive me, Jesus won't forgive you."
Works.
So, be careful how you talk to me on this. I am sick of lies and bent truth.
I have also written extensively on this topic. I am not stupid. I don't need you to educate me or tell me how I feel. I don't need you to placate how you imagine I feel by bending God's Word and claiming we can be forgiven but not reconciled. This is a dangerous thing to say!
Our feelings < God's truth
Bible bending smells like spiritual abuse ro me even when done to placate me. I don't want to be pandered to. It feels condescending and dishonest. I want my Father glorified. I want truth. I want us to understand this Biblically, not conveniently.
Bible bending smells like spiritual abuse ro me even when done to placate me. I don't want to be pandered to. It feels condescending and dishonest. I want my Father glorified. I want truth. I want us to understand this Biblically, not conveniently.
Every day, God extends love to wicked people by letting them live, have families, and enjoy life even though they're unrepentant. He is patient. He is merciful. But he doesn't let these folks into Heaven; into His house, His family. The unrepentant eventually face justice.
Just so, I can let go of my anger at my dad. I can rest. I can be patient. But I can also file a police report, refuse to communicate with him, and keep him away from my children. This is what I call Boundaried Forgiveness. There's no repentance, yet I finitely model God.
Every day, God softens hearts, draws sinners to repent, and reconciles them to Himself. He will bring these folks to Heaven. They're adopted. They're forgiven. They're His family. No one He forgives is EVER not reconciled to Him.
Just so, if someone convinces me they're genuinely repentant, I can work towards reconciling with them. I can let them back into my life. Cautiously and carefully (because I can't read hearts like God) they can earn back my trust by demonstrating measureable change over time.
But if they demand my forgivenes, or act entitled to reconciliation or my trust, I can confidently say they are liars and not repentant. I may let go of my anger. I may be patient and merciful yet just and good. But they are not my family. They are outside the camp.
