Thread by @HoarseWisperer

I like to fancy myself a person of simple needs. I want for little - save for a few basic joys.

High among them: a proper pint of Guinness.

Bars are rightfully closed though.

What’s a boy to do?

1/

Innovate, people! Innovate!

Adaptation. Ingenuity. Guile.

Now, I have earned some goodwill at my preferred pub, so if I were to call them, I suspect they’d likely pour me a to-go pint if I had a proper container.

The problem: I have no such container.

2/

Worse still, there’s no way to do a contactless shop for a bottle of some kind...

But then I remembered a place that sells the perfect vessel.

Confronted with my predicament, they kindly agreed to do a curbside transaction.

Pay over the phone. Drive up. Bag through window.
3/

And that is how I came to find myself porting this fine piece of glassware around like it was a transplant kidney.

Strapped in to the passenger seat.

Getting its first taste of fresh air after the thorough disinfection employed by its makers.

4/

Now I had the ark but not the holy grail.

The vessel but not the cargo.

So I dialed up my preferred pub.

The venue is closed for all but takeout food, they explained.

5/

I explained that Guinness is technically food-like as beers go and is probably healthier than a burger so what if we just thought of it as food... which could be taken out... because it is food... which could be taken out.

Circular logic is really the best logic.

6/

And that’s how this happened.

7/

And that’s the story of how I got here, sitting with proper pint in hand, tipping a glass to y’all on St. Patrick’s Day.

Sláinte.

8/8

And for the protocol-conscious among us:

Cashless transactions, curbside handoffs, sanitizing before and after, bottle wipe-down before serving.

Novel crises call for novel adaptations. We adjust, adapt and go on.