Thread by @Sgt__S

Right, not sure if there's an official #DadsJoke thread world record, but here goes, RT the hell out of it.

Black and white Cows stood shivering in a field on a cold day.

What sort of cows are them Dad ?

Friesain lad. Friesain.

Come on, bang your #DadJoke on let's see if we can get something going to brighten the day up eh?

Bought four legs of venison for 100 quid, too deer ?

#DadJoke

If it wasn't for Vatican blinds it'd be curtains for us all.

Went to the Drs, told him I felt like a pair of curtains,

Pull yourself together he said..

#DadJoke

#DadJoke

I got crushed by a load of books,

Only got myshelf to blame.

#DadJoke

Met my wife at a Disco,

Odd, thought she was looking after the kids.

#DadJoke

Where do Generals keep their Armies?

Up their sleevies..

👌grrr, grrr,

Viscous circle..

Bought some HP sauce last week.

Cost me £1.50 a week for twelve months.

#DadJoke

What goes up a chimney down but not down a chimney up?

I tried Gold prospecting.

Didn't pan out.

What do you call a cop who's just been out for his daily dose of running with the dogs?

Anything you like, too knackered to catch you..