Extracts from the plague diary of Mark ne-Francois-Pepys
March 29th
Up and with grayte haste to chamber pot, which upon removal, Hartley-Brewer did remark looked as though I’d pulled the whisks out with the mixer running. Made special weekende breakfast of piping hot
1/9
March 29th
Up and with grayte haste to chamber pot, which upon removal, Hartley-Brewer did remark looked as though I’d pulled the whisks out with the mixer running. Made special weekende breakfast of piping hot
1/9
tankard of duck liver pate, Cheestrings and battery eggs, I insisting upon caged pullets that I know what exactly they’ve been up to.
To the patio and with tunic cast aside that my splendid poppy tattoo, from neck to buttocks, be fully visible, and completed star jumps
2/9
To the patio and with tunic cast aside that my splendid poppy tattoo, from neck to buttocks, be fully visible, and completed star jumps
2/9
and jogging on the spot, and did feel as though I was in the famous Prince Hal training montage from actione blockbuster Henry V. Most vexingly Thornberry poked her head through the leylandii I planted specifically to stop her & made aggravating comments for resting on my
3/9
3/9
knees to push-up. I ignored her like Steve Baker told me to do with Priti Patel when she kept removing my lunch money, but she continued prattling in her manner, of a most amusing diary on twitter from a parodye that did document our age, which sounded irritating turd but
4/9
4/9
which she said, had run out of superlatives for. I asked if this be because superlatives fall victim to the panic-victualling and she said she couldn’t believe I got a 31,000 majority and I said I couldn’t believe she spent 50/. getting Lembit Opik to Feng Shui her scullery.
5/9
5/9
Escaped indoors and did entertain getting in my patriot hole, the hideaway wherein I did conceal myself during the dark days of Civil War until such time as the noxious smog of smug lifted when the Remainertarians did the Peoples March of Self-Satisfaction
6/9
6/9
but instead ate lunch of haggis on a bed of Dolly Mixtures and a pleasant afternoon ordering my pesticide collection.
Finally to skype, where, after accidentally seeing Ian Botham present himself most available to young ladies, spoke with a much distressed Matt Hancock,
7/9
Finally to skype, where, after accidentally seeing Ian Botham present himself most available to young ladies, spoke with a much distressed Matt Hancock,
7/9
having begun his clap for the NHS on the wrong day and wrong time had left door on latch and sealed himself out of house. I provided reassurance that keyworkers still went about their business in this time and
8/9
8/9
suggested he unwind by playing on his X-Men scooter. Made myself Martini and Monster which I christened Quarantini, then Froobs, bed.
Ende
Ende
With many thanks to @Will_Overman for unearthing this picture!
