How easy is it to "cut off your incessant interior monologue?"
In establishing an empathetic state you must let go of all bias & pay attention to others. Letting go of judgement, is something I struggle daily with.
A deep narcissist never realises this.
You think this applies?
More & more I see people around me, paying attention to me.
It's sad, that few notice you when you've little to give but suddenly a position gives you more credibility.
I'd rather build relationships of respect. Where I try to understand you, where you try & test my values.
I often wonder, if there was no transactional element to my life, how many or few people would connect with me.
So few read, and fewer like to read threads on self help or entrepreneurship books.
Our lived reality is such a telling reflection on us & the society we live in...
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Relationship building is never easy. But it's skill that can take you far.
The lack of it, ie the skill can become a noose like no other. The way you use language to put across an idea, a question, a critique shows your skill.
I feel paralysed when in community endeavours,
People find it impossible to work on relationship building. Its a skill which no one gave them a TOR for.
So they fumble & stumble. They will be awkward, use direct & almost rude language & be unable to understand the insult their use of language causes.
Some golden rules
Never mistrust.
Starting from a place of mistrust gives a strong negative vibe. A business or charity trying to solve a problem isn't out there to hoodwink you.
This mentality backfires. Reduces credibility & creates mistrust on either side.
That time of year when Pakistani men show their colours in their most vilest way.
I don't know agendas, but the fact that women in most desi houses are oppressed in the same of a pseudo religious context & remain achored to a patriarchal mindset needs to be voiced.
Let us talk
There will always be opinions, agendas, controversies but that doesn't take away from the systemic oppression women face daily.
At the workplace, we are sidelined, & spoken over.
We are paid less, not promoted, not given management or board seats.
We face harassment.
In public spaces, no Pakistani woman can escape the glare of men. Those piercing, debauchery filth you can you feel while you walk past.
Not one Pakistani woman in a public space has escaped cat calling, not been touch inappropriately.
As a new immigrant I still view Canada with an outside in lens. I guess it takes time to fully internalise a culture, but Canada remains a mystery to me.
Could be attributed to the "timing" of our move or the unique circumstances that set in as a result of it.
Do all immigrants feel a disconnect to Canada? The infrastructure in the bigger cities is comparable to London, the busy-ness of it all, never ending chores, weekend getaways & retirement plans.
However, this is something desi people never experience.
We don't really plan, we don't have weekend getaways, our domestic life isn't so hectic. Our busy lives are a mix of work, life in imbalance, brought about by a crazy dependency on family relationships & toxic people around us.