Earlier this year I bought a one-way ticket out of Portland, put what I could into a pod and left a 5-year relationship that was sexually abusive, coercive and controlling.
Compounding things, I’d also recently quit my job so when I left I had to sort out a whole new life.
I left someone well known in the same part of tech that I’m in, golden to many and that knew nearly everyone I knew.
It was a really difficult time for a while and it’s still difficult in many ways—there’s a lot to process, unlearn, and there’s a lot to read every day to remind me how far men like this can get.
I think—all the time—about my silence. How it protected him while he abused me & protects him now.
FWIW, I brought up his behavior to him for years to no avail, only to be made to believe it was my fault. When I left he did not deny a single thing I cited.