1/ Okay, you racist hack, apparently I have to do this every time. Like all conspiracy theories, this falls apart as soon as one asks "How?"
2/ Let's just go with the most popular right-wing conspiracy, George Soros (because, of course, you blame a Jew, you fucks) bussed in enough out of state black people to win Doug Jones the election.
3/ Now he's not going to MAYBE fix an election, he's going to have himself a margin of error, And remember the conspiracy is this gave Jones the WIN, didn't PAD the win. That proves nothing.
4/ to get a 20,000 vote margin, you want to give yourself a pad to get OVER what Moore was supposed to win by. Should he have won by 20,000 votes? Does that seem right?
5/ Sure, why not, it's a Fermi problem anyway. (Look it up) So we have to find 40,000 votes minimum to get the results we want.
6/ So apparently the Soros conspiracy finds 40,000 paid votes without anybody noticing. Nobody leaks. Nobody tells a friend. Not a single slip-up. That is some fucking OPSEC.
7/ We then have to bus them in. The standard transit bus carries about 45 people. School buses can go higher. Let's say 50. So that's 2 busses per hundred, 20 buses per thousand, that's about 800 buses?
8/ So, right now your brilliant conspiracy has some genius renting 800 buses from, well, how many buses does one company have, say a couple dozen companies, all on the same day, requiring 800 drivers who ALSO have to be in on it. And still. Nobody. Notices.
9/ Hey, I'll spot you somehow they go to only the voting places where not a single Moore voter will notice a busload of strangers showing up -- of course that means multiple busloads at very few stations.
10/ Then these 40,000 or so fake voters -- like, the number of troops who hit Utah Beach on D-Day -- stroll in and HAVE ID SINCE ALABAMA HAS STRICT ID LAWS, and ARE ALREADY REGISTERED. Holy shit, the conspiracy!
11/ Somehow Soros et al had these sleeper voter ID's in place, and not on the inactive list, JUST IN CASE the GOP nominated anybody even remotely beatable. Or they managed to do so between Moore winning the primary and the election.
12/ And they did this all under the nose of Alabama Secretary of State John Merrill, a Republican, who's made it his life's work to hunt down voter fraud, and was a vocal supporter of Moore.
13/ 20,000-40,000 fake voters, all recruited secretly, paid somehow, transported in hundreds of buses with hundreds of drivers, no witnesses, no leaks, no paper trail, voting in dozens of stations, no witnesses, with 10k forged ID's.
14/ At least have a modicum of dignity and claim the machines were hacked.
15/ I'm sorry, I know this is dumb, but I used to write cons & heists for a living. And very few things piss me off like sloppy heist plotting. And racism. So this is a two-fer.
16/ fin.
