Okay I haven’t done it in a few years but I’m going to livetweet Midnight Mass from the Vatican #PFTMM17
GOOD turnout this year #PFTMM17
These cuddly characters are as divisive as the Porgs #PFTMM17 
ALLL MY ROWDY FRIENDS ARW COMIN’ OVER TONIIIIGHT #PFTMM17
Uh, your mother doesn’t live here, pick up after yourself #PFTMM17
NOOOOOORM #PFTMM17
“What could possibly go wrong? This plan is foolproof!” #PFTMM17
If you don’t cough you don’t get off #PFTMM17
Cool of Jared Kushner & Bernie Madoff show up for penance #PFTMM17
Polyphonic Spree is a MAJOR get for this Mass. On a holiday weekend? COME ON #PFTMM17
Welcome back Paul Shaeffer #PFTMM17
What is so wonderful about this Pope is that he doesn’t grab the mic like people the Jerry Springer audience #PFTMM17
JUST NORMAL RELIGION STUFF NOTHING TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT #PFTMM17
“Well, I’m so sorry for helping, but the website said to order the hats one size up. I’m happy to let you take care of it next time.” #PFTMM17
And He said unto them, Climb ye My beanstalks, and worship ye My golden goose #PFTMM17
“A reading from the letter of whatshisname to the whosiewhatsies. Look, I don’t have a ton of time, so I’ll keep my coat on & blast this out and then jet.” #PFTMM17
Um I BEG YOUR PARDON #PFTMM17
It wouldn’t be Midnight Mass without a 7’5” dude in the background #PFTMM17
And that is a reading from the Cheescake Factory Menu #PFTMM17
“I was told there’d be refreshments.” #PFTMM17
WE ALL FLOAT UP HERE #PFTMM17
It’s all canned. Way to go, Pope TelePrompTer #PFTMM17
“Oh shit, can poor people see this?” #PFTMM17
SHOUTOUT TO THE OVERFLOW SECTION #PFTMM17
Aw shit, gotta take my crazy hat AND m’beanie off for this prayer #PFTMM17
Let us pray that by turning to page 55, we avoid being attacked by the mummy but instead discover a secret passage to safety #PFTMM17
HEY, WE’RE ALL GONNA GET LAID! #PFTMM17
Hey sorry this looks CRAZY suspicious #PFTMM17
Man oh man this is putting me to sleep just like it did in the old days. Midnight Mass, YA STILL GOT IT #PFTMM17
Great example of Christ’s message: “Don’t worry, these people who have clothing and homes are pretty comfortable tonight.” #PFTMM17
Leaving even BEFORE Communion? I mean, we’ve all considered it, but no one was crazy enough to try it UNTIL SWISS FAMILY DON’T-GIVE-A-FUCK arrived on the scene #PFTMM17
UH OH SOME BREAD JUST GOT TRANSUBSTANTIATED HUNTYS #PFTMM17
Oh sorry, you ordered wine? Because all I have here is THE BLOOD OF CHRIST (you get to keep the cup tho) #PFTMM17
“I mean, whatever happened to ‘small, medium & large?’ All I want is some Christblood on my way to work, which one is the VENTI?” #PFTMM17
Hmmm so far the ceremony doesn’t seem to have reversed the Mannequin spell #PFTMM17
I wanted to quit doing this so bad but then, even through the TV, just as it always did in life, the Sign of Peace gave me the jolt of energy I needed to get through the rest of this. #PFTMM17
Let all Whiffenpoofs come forth, and receive the Bread of Life #PFTMM17
I don’t know if I can make it through all 1000 people receiving communion. They should have done tiers; like, just VIPs get Communion & everyone else gets a swag bag #PFTMM17
DENIED #PFTMM17
Midnight Mass Girl knows what you did #PFTMM17
“You don’t have to go in peace to love & serve the Lord, but ya can’t stay here.” #PFTMM17
“Yeah, I got the last one, you believe it? People are nuts for these dolls. Helloooooo Ebay! This is my retirement plan.” #PFTMM17
HOW IS THIS STILL GOING ON #PFTMM17
The End! Jesus Christ WILL Return In: EASTER SUNDAY #PFTMM17
