Pastors & leaders,
If someone discloses a murder to you, will your response be to blame the victim, “discipline” the killer, & tell the family to just submit, forgive, or keep quiet?
If not, then don’t do that with domestic violence, abuse, & rape, all of which are also CRIMES.
If someone discloses a murder to you, will your response be to blame the victim, “discipline” the killer, & tell the family to just submit, forgive, or keep quiet?
If not, then don’t do that with domestic violence, abuse, & rape, all of which are also CRIMES.
When someone discloses present-day abuse to you, it’s not a time to discuss scripture or forgiveness. Believing & protecting victims - and ensuring physical & emotional safety - should be THE PRIORITY.
Crimes should not be “handled in house.” Contact experts & legal authorities.
Crimes should not be “handled in house.” Contact experts & legal authorities.
If you’re unclear about the definitions of abuse or domestic violence, educate yourselves. If it hasn’t happened in your church yet, it will. If you’re not equipped & prepared for how best to respond, you can easily cause more harm.
These situations require great intentionality.
These situations require great intentionality.
This means connecting with resources in your community already doing the work of protecting & advocating for victims & survivors. Counselors, police, shelters. Know who & when to call.
You cannot pastor in a spiritual silo. These other helpers are available, and you need them.
You cannot pastor in a spiritual silo. These other helpers are available, and you need them.
In short, keep learning how to engage reports AND suspicion of violence, abuse & crisis. Get comfortable talking about it. This will help you recognize & name it, which will then help you to prevent it & respond to it.
Many will look to you for hope & for help. Please be ready.
Many will look to you for hope & for help. Please be ready.
