not going to watch the SOTU but I might just live tweet what I assume is happening
Nice to see everyone arriving, Mike Pence's wife-mother dropping him off, Paul Ryan oozing out of the crack behind the podium.
Some surprise guests in attendance, Gennifer Flowers, Vladimir Putin and The Noid best known for his iconic run as pizza ruiner.
I know this is controversial but personally I think it's nice that the ICE agent is letting Melania attend this before deporting her.
Fact-checkers, is this the first time a SOTU started off in Russian? I didn't know "cuck" was the same word in both languages!
Obviously they want a lot of visible standing ovations but it's gotta be embarrassing that they keep accidentally showing Sarah Sanders trying to covertly sneak needles onto each seat
I don't mean to be partisan but I didn't know you could smoke in Congress and then on top of that lighting hundred dollar bills on fire and ashing them onto the heads of minorities in attendance?!!!
In case you get the Trump sons confused, it's Eric who keeps yelling out "PAPA, LOVE ME" and Donald Jr who's wearing the wig and pretending to be a "small business owner" in reaction shots.
Look, the forced patriotism is no surprise, but confusing placing his hand over his heart with making the sieg hell motion is more than I was expecting.
holy shit did Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer just unfurl a "SUCK IT, CHEETO DICK" banner?????
there's no doubt that rebranding the healthcare "survival of the fittest" plan to "wellness of strength" was definitely a Stephen Miller touch
HOLY SHIT, SUGGESTING THAT IMMIGRANTS BE USED AS HUMAN-PLUGS TO STOP UP HOLES IN THE WALL IS NOT AN IMMIGRATION COMPROMISE WTF!
The worst part of this GOP infrastructure plan to give massive government contracts to companies that build secret housing for mistresses is that it has some bipartisan support.
People laughed but I honestly don't think he was joking when he said DACA stands for Donald Acquires Cash Always
Steve Mnuchin's weirdly pretentious glasses just jumped off his face and crawled away and I don't blame them but still wtf
Trump just stretched his neck out so hard to try to minimize his chins that it snapped back like he was a Pez dispenser and Mitch McConnell tried to pull a candy from it.
"America is open for business" is fine but literally auctioning off Senators to the highest bidder live was too far and even if she is selling the dress, telling Ivanka to "give the people a twirl"? Tacky.
Everyone's getting their coats on to leave and Jeff Sessions just threw on a full white hood?
