If there’s one rule you shouldn’t break this was it.
Cut-off time 4 girls hostel was 9pm.
It was 9:42
Brethren
Issa thread
They were all built like a square with an open center. Boys could visit girls and vice Versa
Then the most important question. What happens if you’re caught over the allowed time in the hostel.
For babes you get a slap on the wrist but for Guys, just start designing burial poster cos issalova
Let’s just say that if the god of bad luck decides to visit you, like he did Progress who overstayed till 9:05 and was made to do the following
Go around picking dirt in the room of babes including the One he came to toast, while the ones who never get visited laugh at the top of their voice and point at you to their friends as “that LAWMA boy”
Brethren the shame is usually not funny
But brethren they did me strong thing
The maths I did was that 1.30 to 9pm gave us about 8hours to frolick. That was more than enough
Each room has about 6 double bunks.The beds are separated with curtains sometimes into “corners” and a large space left for cupboard,boxes pretty much anything that couldn’t be in the wardrobe or under the bed
brethren last I remember we were gisting, playing and around 7 when I wanted to leave,
1,2 before I could buckle my shoe, my head like blue band butter had been cradled between her bread bosom.
I pinched myself and did those things they do in nollywood to confirm whether dream or not. Brethren it was a case of “or not” I was stuck in girls hostel by 10pm.
I mentally wrote my will.My purple boxers to Progress the red one to Uche. Remember me friends
But I know my village people. This is when they’ll whisper to NEPA oga “let there be light” and ruin my life
Who is it?
Man o’ war open the door now the voice boomed from the other end.
Wazzaldis na?
Under the bed - too obvious
Wardrobe - first place they’ll check
Under the duvet - when I’m not harry song
Maybe I should form mannequin- but this is girls hostel not okey best boutique na
I was at a loss for ideas
Door opens....
Ahn ahn! We had to dress up Na a go retorted.
If you say so he replied, prancing about the room still suspiciously
One of the roomies who had not been around came in and headed straight where I was and started hanging wet paynt
Ah!
There I was brethren,receiving showers. Not of blessing but of paynt.
Toptop
Toptoptop
Toptop
Ah brethren it was raining all over me. I could feel it and it wasn’t a latter rain
It kept dropping
Top top
Then it came faster
Toptoptoptoptoptoptoptoptoptop like a fiery rain and my mind even made me hear thunder!!
Foolish man o war talk fast comot na no!
What if I dressed like a girl, and when the generator had been turned off, I sneaked out in the cover of the night. We all thought it a brilliant idea after all what else could I do.
Wetin don loss don lost as ONOS will say
Wig on
Small make up on my face.
Thankfully I wasn’t beard gang so it could work.
Then I got some confirmed breasts and ass courtesy of clothes stuffed into a bra and my boxers.
Then I threw a gown over it all and surveyed myself
I looked so nice I wanted to look at my image in the mirror like “psst Stephanie! Psst! fine girl are you going my way? Why not come let me love you!
I was convinced. This would work.
One leg out, look left, look right, we stepped out. I had barely done four steps, next thing I knew, my bum bum don dey near my laps Charley!
Abort mission!
I returned to the room
2nd floor no wahala
1st floor no wahala
Ground floor,we had passed the military room and just at the mouth of the hostel, we heard “stop there”
Look at this imbeside!
We continued walking when the voice directly “ those four girls going to fetch water” stop!
We stopped.
Didn’t you hear me the first time?
The man o war said
“Sorry” we chorused
“We’re fine thank you”
“Common fine girls, relax let me protect you” he said looking at my girls mammaries.
Ewwwwww
I wanted to vomit hearing this. Anyama! God hope I’ve never sounded like this before to a babe kee me please
He even put his hand on my waist saying how it reminded him of an ex’s waist
Listen young man Ogun will ex you, ex all your generation if you don’t leave me now
Ah! I wanted to die! He was ogling me! But what could I do.Couldn’t break cover. Had to laugh hehehegodpunishyou
If that’s the case let me wait in front of the hostel with you my sweet Stephanie!
Hey god which kind bitter fool be this Abeg
What again?
“Baba no be so”
“ Na so o. I see you. I get proof”
While I was begging a man o war from male hostel saw us. Recognizing me he asked any P?
I gree! No wahala! I gree!
He deleted the picture assuring me he would blow it all if I reneged
Amem?
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With love
Uncle Stephen