In case you needed a reminder that we're living in the dumbest timeline:
usat.ly/2HOKwNh via @usatoday
usat.ly/2HOKwNh via @usatoday
Of course this came out in 2018 jfc.
This whole year would be brilliant satire if it wasn't so REAL AND TERRIFYING.
This whole year would be brilliant satire if it wasn't so REAL AND TERRIFYING.
AND DUMB. SERIOUSLY THERE IS A FART PLANET-- A WHOLE WORLD OF FARTS. FARTLAND-- AND WE ALREADY NAMED IT AFTER BUTTHOLES WHAT IS HAPPENING
This would only-- *could only-- happen in the timeline where a grumpy oompa-loompa signs new laws with his tiny hands and is best friends with a Hip Hop star who photographs his own pants.
We are the 5th Dimension. We are the Forbidden Zone. We are the insane/backwards otherworldly hellscape in a pre-teen sci-fi nerd's first attempt at something other than Spock/Picard slashfic.
We're the half-written, crumpled Creative Writing project lost in a box marked "Schoolwork", stuffed in the corner of the attic, totally forgotten as the ink fades and the pages yellow.
Reality is crumbling, and God won't save us. God doesn't even remember us.
Reality is crumbling, and God won't save us. God doesn't even remember us.
Stop clinging to sanity. Find someone you love, gurgle sweet nothings to each other. Scream Daedric folk songs as the poisoned rock we're slowly dieing on selfishly hurls itself through space, ignoring our desperate pleas to just STOP FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, GEEZ.
Oh and don't forget to take it easy once in awhile, y'know? Gotta stop and smell the farts.
*manic laugh-crying*
*manic laugh-crying*
