1) Roasting this. I'm so roasting this.
2) "There are few issues more important to the US than the potential spread of nuclear weapons, or the potential for even more destructive war in the ME." Thennnn why did you let ISIS grow out of control and refused to intervene over the use of banned barrel bombs in Syria?
3) "That's why the US negotiated the JCPOA in the first place." Really? THAT'S why? Because it sure as hell isn't comprehensive, the 'plan' involves kicking the can down the road to AFTER Hillary's at the time presumed 8 year dictatorship (2025 sunset provision) and WHAT ACTION?
4) "The reality is clear. The JCPOA is working" For the Mullahs and for the European companies profiting off the misery and poverty of the Iranian people and not giving a flying fuck.
5) "That is a view shared by our European allies" They aren't allies, its more like a hospice care and we're the only nurse on staff to keep them from swallowing their dentures. "Independent experts" Your party pays them. By definition that makes them partisan, not independent.
6) "And the current US SoD" REALLY NOW. Mattis? 'We’re working with our European allies on it at this time, this decision has not been made whether we can repair it enough to stay in it or if the president is going to decide to withdraw from it.' iranprimer.usip.org/blog/2018/apr/…
7) Also Mattis: “Iran’s nuclear ambitions also remain an unresolved concern.” Same source as above.
8) Back to Obummer. "The JCPOA is in America's interest - it has significantly rolled back Iran's nuclear program." REALLY NOW. Ever hear of HEAVY WATER? isis-online.org/isis-reports/d…
9) From above source: 'Iran’s last violation of the 130 metric ton cap of the stock in Iran occurred in November [2016], despite Iran receiving a warning from the international inspectors charged with monitoring the nuclear deal.'
10) Took me like 5 seconds to find that on fucking google. Yes, I know, boooo, google, but if I can find that kind of stuff on GOOGLE, well, yeah. It was THAT blatant.
11) "And the JCPOA is a model for what diplomacy can accomplish - its inspections and verification regime is precisely what the US should be working to put in place with NK." Alright then, why didn't YOU do that? Oh, because you were actually a JOKE in terms of diplomacy? Mkay.
12) "Indeed, at a time when we are all rooting for diplomacy with NK to succeed" REALLY? I don't hear rooting from the left. I hear screeches that ending the JCPOA sinks North Korean negotiations. The articles are up already. cnbc.com/2018/05/08/tru… See?!?
13) "walking away from the JCPOA risks losing a deal that accomplishes with Iran" No it doesn't "the very outcome that we are pursuing with NK." The outcome being clean up the messes you refused to be serious about? Because talking with NK and withdrawing from the JCPOA does both
14) "That is why today's announcement is so misguided." No, it is delivered with laser-guided precision. The Green Revolution would like its dead back, btw. I'm sure you'll get right on that.
15) Walking away from the JCPOA turns our back on America's closest allies" Barack, how many times do we have to cover this, Iran is NOT an ally! And also, again, Europe is not our ally, its a mental ward we have to take care of.
16) "and an agreement" more like hostage negotiation where the entire swat team stripped naked and did pole dances for the terrorists "that our country's leading diplomats" John Kerry 🤨 "scientists, and intelligence professionals negotiated." Rhodes didn't have sec clearance fyi
17) "In a democracy, there will always be changes in policies and priorities from one Administration to the next." Exactly, now get back in your fucking lane, you're supposed to be retired. Shit like this is a huge breach of precedent you fucking stooge.
18) "But the constant flouting of agreements that our country is a party to risks eroding America's credibility, and puts us at odds with the world's major powers." Ok, I'm stopping you right here for a MURICA rant. Ready for a MURICA rant everyone?
19) First off, WOW, its almost like you worked with CNN and NBC to coordinate y'alls talking points ahead of time, because THEY SAID THIS BEFORE YOU DID. Someone jump the gun? Maybe the intern your wife is banging was a bit late in posting this? Who knows.
20) Second off, 'major powers'? Motherfucker, I know you tried your DAMNED HARDEST to fuck that up for us, but we are still THE MAJOR POWER. No one else compares. NO ONE. In a war of the world vs us, its not a matter of who wins, its a matter of how fast we win. PERIOD.
21) We are literally a full QUARTER of the world economy. If Trump succeeds in everything he's trying to do, we could reach a THIRD of the world economy. No one else fucking holds a candle to us. China has several times as many people and they have to cheat to hit HALF of our GDP
22) Alright, you socialist-addled logically challenged shitstain what else ya got. "Debates in our country should be informed by facts, especially debates proven to be divisive." Iran's been cheating and failing its obligations from day 1. The IAEA says so isis-online.org/isis-reports/d…
23) "So it's important to review several facts about the JCPOA." This is why America fucking hated you. America. Fucking hated you. We called you on your bullshit, and you lectured us because you thought you were our superior.
24) I don't care if you were born in a vacation home in Hawaii, a mud hut in Kenya, or in an alleyway in Chicago. YOU ARE NOT SUPERIOR TO ANY OF US YOU FUCKING TOOL. I don't care how many communities you organized in your death march to fucking failure. YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN US
25) "First, the JCPOA was not just an agreement between my Administration and the Iranian government." No shit Sherlock. But it sure as fuck sounds like everyone else is throwing a goddamn bitchfit over us leaving. Probably because WE WERE FUCKING BANKROLLING IT.
26) "After years of building an international coalition that could impose crippling sanctions on Iran," try WAS. We WERE imposing crippling sanctions on Iran. Until the JCPOA ended that. Also, what took you close to a decade Trump can do in a year just saying.
27) "we reached the JCPOA with [a few mental patients in Europe], [the mental instutition itself], [vodka-drunk bears on unicycles], [greater North Korea], and [a national islamic socialist terrorist-sponsoring nation]."
28) "It is a multilateral arms control deal," could have fooled me given ALL THE MISSILES IRAN IS GIVING THE HOUTHIS "unanimously endorsed by a UNSC resolution." Also known as a flyer posted on the hallway billboard no one has torn down yet. Also, they are almost all ON the UNSC.
29) "Second, the JCPOA has worked in rolling back Iran's nuclear program." isis-online.org/isis-reports/d… HEAVY. WATER. YOU UNBELIEVABLY DENSE JACKASS.
30) "For decades, Iran has steadily advanced its nuclear program, approaching the point where they could rapidly produce enough fissile material to build a bomb." And once you FINALLY went out of your way to deal with it, you took all the sanctions off of them. Good job. 👍
31) "Hurf blurf no plutonium they let us look at centrifuges HURRRRRRRR" Netanhellyeah, hit me up with that counterpoint. haaretz.com/middle-east-ne…
32) "So by any measure," you brought plastic footlong rulers to a physics lab "the JCPOA has imposed strict limitations on Iran's nuclear program and achieved real results." We're all feeling REAL safe right now given Iran can and threatens to restart it nytimes.com/2017/08/15/wor…
33) That's from AUGUST. If the JCPOA was really so comprehensive and thorough, how is it that Iran claims to be able to restart its nuclear program basically any time it wants? Isn't the point that the JCPOA was supposed to rob them of those capabilities?
34) What's that NetanHELLYEAH, Iran LIED to Obama about their facilities, the number of centrifuges, and the locations of the nuclear weapons research? REALLY? Noooooo, that's impossible, Obama could never be fooled, he's superior to us all, at least he talks like he is!
35) "Third, the JCPOA does not rely on trust" of course not, you had to lie to the American people and create a media echo chamber to sell those lies in order to get enough support for it.
36) "It is rooted in the most far-reaching inspections and verification regime ever negotiated in an arms control deal." July 2015, Iran's defense chief forbids inspection of military sites. timesofisrael.com/iran-defense-c… Less than a minute on google.
37) "International monitors also have access to Iran's entire nuclear supply chain, so we can catch them if they cheat." isis-online.org/isis-reports/d…
38) 'Instead of focusing on adequately enforcing the Iran deal, the United States tolerated and minimized Iran’s violations and sought to legitimize its international standing as a commercial supplier of heavy water.'
39) "Without the JCPOA, this monitoring and inspections regime would go away." And the Mullah's regime would ALSO go away. Win-win. Also, Iran just did their research in Syria instead. haaretz.com/israel-news/se…
40) "Fourth, Iran is complying with the JCPOA." No they're not. "That was not simply the view of my Administration." No, it was not the view period. You knew they weren't. You know now they aren't. I'm skipping the rest of this paragraph. See above links for why.
41) "Fifth, the JCPOA does not expire." aipac.org/-/media/public… Yes it does. All the nuclear development restrictions lift by 2031. By 2025 the ability to easily reimpose UN sanctions without China or Russia vetoing them would expire.
42) "The prohibition on Iran ever obtaining a nuclear weapon is permanent." So is permanent marker. What's the point of a prohibition if the ability to enforce the prohibition expires?
43) "Some of the most important and intrusive inspections codified by the JCPOA are permanent" and our access to their nuclear supply chain facilities expire from 2036-2041. So what's the most important? The ability to send a donor to their embassy for fancy dinner 'inspections'?
44) "Even as some of the provisions in the JCPOA do become less strict with time," I'm going to stop you there. That's the fucking problem. "this won't happen until ten, fifteen, twenty, or twenty-five years into the deal, so there is little reason to put those at risk today."
45) No. YOU do NOT get to dictate how we kick the can down the road. Not anymore. Not since Trump was sworn in. Now, the can is getting fucking CRUSHED by a fucking BOOT.
46) "Finally, the JCPOA was never intended to solve all of our problems with Iran." GEEEEE REALLY?!? I WOULD NEVER HAVE FUCKING GUESSED THAT.
47) "We were clear-eyed that Iran engages in destabilizing behaviour" and did nothing to stop that "including support for terrorism, and threats towards Israel and its neighbors." IRAN'S PROXIES WERE KILLING US SOLDIERS IN IRAQ. You did NOTHING. Bush did NOTHING.
48) You found the documents in Bin Laden's compound that Iran was supporting Al Qaeda. YOU HID THAT INFORMATION so you could get this precious deal.
49) "But that's precisely why" shut the fuck up you worthless excuse for a fucking chief, executive, fucking ANYTHING. I can see you raising your fucking bony-ass finger as you say this you grey-haired cumbucket with a thot for a daughter.
50) Ring's coming on, I'm done reading this shit.
The JCPOA was a FUCKING FAILURE. Obama's presidency was a FUCKING FAILURE. Obama's policies brought back OPEN AIR SLAVE MARKET IN LIBYA. Obama's priorities ALLOWED A SEX SLAVE CULT TO THRIVE IN THE UNITED STATES.
The JCPOA was a FUCKING FAILURE. Obama's presidency was a FUCKING FAILURE. Obama's policies brought back OPEN AIR SLAVE MARKET IN LIBYA. Obama's priorities ALLOWED A SEX SLAVE CULT TO THRIVE IN THE UNITED STATES.
51) Human trafficking was on the rise, race relations became a goddamn shitnado, our economic recovery was REPEATEDLY kicked square in the goddamn jewels for the sake of his fucking socialist ideals. @Debradelai is right. The Obama years will be known as the Dismal Eight. 
52) @BarackObama Go QUIETLY, and I cannot emphasize enough QUIETLY, into retirement. Crawl into some mansion in a country without extradition. And PRAY. PRAY to whatever God you worship that we simply FORGET you, because we will not FORGET YOU. /end
Totally meant forgive for that last bit. GODDAMNIT. Fuck it leaving it there, I'm done, I'm going to get me a goddamn cheeseburger, because again THE WORLD DIDNT END WHEN WE LEFT THE JCPOA. Suck it Ben Rhodes.
