Thread by @ed_solomon

Rubio's platitudes always remind me of that great old joke:

Flood's rising.
Guy's in his living room, praying.
A neighbor comes by with a car:
"Get in - you'll drown!" the neighbor yells.
"I'll be fine," the guy says, "God will save me."
The neighbor shrugs, drives off.

1/

Water keeps rising.
So the guy goes to the 2nd floor.

A new neighbor comes by, this one with a boat:
"Get in! Hurry! The water's rising fast!"
"I'm good, thanks - God will save me."
And the neighbor shakes her head, boats away.
Guy keeps praying, water keeps rising.

2/

Guy now has to go to the roof.
Now Search & Rescue comes with a helicopter:
"You HAVE to get in - NOW!"
But the guy is adamant:
"God. Will. Save. Me."
He refuses to get in - and the chopper leaves without him.

Water keeps rising.
Guy keeps praying.

And he drowns.

3/

He arrives at the Pearly Gates.

God is there.
The guy is mad, confused:
"I prayed and prayed and you did NOTHING."
God just looks at him:
"What are you talking about? I sent you a car, a boat and a helicopter."

***

I feel this way about these empty "thoughts and prayers."

4/

Except for one difference:

While we're all screaming for help, people like @marcorubio are actually the ones in the cars, the boats, and the helicopters.

And they hear us yelling.

But they just SIT THERE.
Listening to the cries.
While DOING NOTHING.
But spewing platitudes.

5/

What's particularly galling is that people like Rubio are the very ones who believe God Himself put them into these positions of power.

Positions where they can have a REAL EFFECT.
Where they can truly help people.

Yet they don't.
No matter how often it happens.

6/

I can imagine Marco Rubio - a man of faith - as the water rises around him.

He's not worried.

Why?

He's sending "thoughts and prayers."
To God, to everyone.

As he, too, drowns.

And he arrives at the Pearly Gates.
And God is there.

And Marco's mad, confused:

7/

"I don't understand," he yells at God, "I sent countless thoughts and prayers. I did it EVERY TIME people were killed. But you did nothing!"

God eyes him, shakes his head:

"Open your hand, Marco."

Marco looks down.
He's holding keys.

To a car, to a boat, to a helicopter.

8/

"I heard your thoughts - I answered your prayers," God shakes his head, sadly. "And I put you in a place where you could truly help."

"Yet I did nothing."

"WORSE than nothing. You ACTED like a man of God. But you were not beholden to God. Who were you beholden to, Marco?"

9/

Marco looks down in shame. He KNOWS to whom he was beholden.

“Be *doers* of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves,” God says to Marco. "Do you recognize it?"

"Of course I do," he says to God. "James 1:22. I've quoted it myself."

/10

"Yes," says God. "You quote Me often, don't you?"

Marco nods.

"Perhaps, then, you can tell me what Matthew 6:1 says?"

"Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."

/11

"Hand me the keys, Marco,"

Marco does.

"What are you doing with them?"
"Giving them to someone else."

Marco nods as God turns away.

"Wait - God."

God turns back.

"What now?"

"Thoughts and prayers, Marco."

And God is gone.

And that's the last Marco ever saw of Him.

12/12