As I reflect and integrate my Camp Ravish experience, I realize what a gift it was to talk with other bisexual women. I’ve been examining a lot of my internalized biphobia and didn’t have a place to examine it in a way that was productive. I learned that I was not alone. And...
The bisexual women with whom I shared reminded me that although I’ve been bisexual my whole life that aspect of me can and will evolve just like the other facets of who I am.
One of these convos was with a dearest one, @JennB721, before the weekend even started.
Her sharing her perspectives on bieroticism and heteroromanticism in bisexuality served as a clear example of what I know I am not. Noticing the validity of all bisexuality.
Her sharing her perspectives on bieroticism and heteroromanticism in bisexuality served as a clear example of what I know I am not. Noticing the validity of all bisexuality.
I notice I can find myself relating more with my lesbian friends with how I roll as a bisexual, because I crave the sexual, relational, romantic, what is the whole package for me with every potential partner.
I knew/know some bisexual women have an experience similar to mine, that what they envision is more of a life-partner-type of relationship. Yet most of my personal experience is those women leave their male partner to partner exclusively with women.
Because I know that won’t be me, I have felt lesser in every category of my sexuality: 1. Compromised heterosexual partner to a man, 2. Not enough to be a partner to a woman, 3. Simply a novelty when I have had the scenario that makes me feel whole: lovingly partnered with both.
I’ll interject into my own thread that my language is inclusive of women and men and those who are non-binary. I still don’t love “bi”sexual because I am pansexual, yet I feel this dichotomy is most descriptive for what I’m wrestling with right now.
I feel most like myself loving and being partnered with humans who fulfill my Two-Spirit self.
I don’t want to feel selfish in wanting what I know is exactly who I am.
It’s likely well more than “one of each.” I’m poly as well.
I don’t want to feel selfish in wanting what I know is exactly who I am.
It’s likely well more than “one of each.” I’m poly as well.
While a temple sexual goddess or spiritual eroticism shaman feels closest to my evolution right now, I still will continue to evolve in seeking the life-partner, fleshly connections in my day-to-day. I want to share my love in that way as well.
Starting to date again feels adventurous and fulfilling already. And I’m that much closer to envisioning how I want to feel in relationship. I will continue to learn myself as a bi Two-Spirit and unapologetically seek what makes me (and my partners) whole.
I’m grateful to have such a generous & loving experience with those bisexual women who listened, heard, & shared. Being amidst loving & accepting humans who may have been feeling their own resistance to my language/feelings yet heard me was life-changing. Especially right now.
Happy Pride, Swingsetters! May we all extend each other the generosity of spirit to truly hear each other and hold each other up.
🏳️🌈❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🏳️🌈
🏳️🌈❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🏳️🌈
