So I guess I'm continuing.
I helped Andrew Rettek pick out Sarah Constantin's engagement ring when we were all still dating. We settled on a rainbow titanium band. She got rid of it in favor of an oval opal. I believe I still have the old band.
So of course, there are no chat logs with Vassar.
Being a fool and also almost 20 (to his 35), I gave it to him.
In fact, he was fun to talk about anything with, so long as you were ok with him forgetting it 5min later.
Well, for one thing, he told me he loved me because I was "young at heart", broke up with me a week after for the "Isis" at Burning Man, and then told his pals I was "a 5yo in a hot 20yo's body".
So part of emotional abuse is putting down your partner in public, right? Well, Michael loves Mage: the Ascension. Practically worships it.
"You're a sleeper -- you don't really get it. Your world is too small."
Go look into Mage: the Ascension. Go on. I'll wait.
"You are pretty, but you have no agency of your own. You are a second-class citizen and cannot affect your environment. Bask in my glow."
I thought I was friends enough with his friends to get them on my side. Stupid.
What a nice assault, no?
But it was never when I was in a state to consent.
Something to know about me: I was physically and emotionally abused as a child as well. Even consensual objectification dynamics freak me out. I did not consent to be Michael Vassar's toy -- but I was anyway.
Tbh I'm not even bitter, it's just wild.
BUT BOY OH BOY WAS I BITTER BACK THEN.
Also "five year old in a hot twenty year old's body". After the breakup. Jesus.
But there was worse yet to come, poor thing🎶
Now we're going to talk about Andrew Rettek. Buckle in your fucking seatbelts, we're gonna talk about the most gorgeous abuser on the planet.
I'd met him before when I was dating Michael. He knew I was starving for Michael's affection -- I, in fact, vented to him about it after Michael broke up with me. Making fun of Michael was one of the main themes in our relationship.
Andrew Rettek, while having dropped out of two Ivy-league schools and being very embarrassed by it, is not stupid. It took me years to see it, but he set himself up as the heroic antithesis of Michael Fucking Vassar.
Motherfucker. It makes me hate him more.
Fucking rich coming from a guy who snuck out of the bed when we were both sleeping in it to go make out with housemates.
No, I am not proud of this.
Then he didn't talk to me all summer. When he came back down, it was to spend some time with me after my grandpa's death and that was actually ok.
Her story is hers to tell -- but he used her as a weapon against me.
Yes, we were poly. But this wasn't NRE, this was targeted.
Two of the quotes I most remember from Andrew are "I deserve a hot nubile college girl every year until I turn 40" and "I can't wait to be a hot poly dad, then I can date people half my age and it won't be weird."
"Why is she so upset? I spent about 80% of my time on her, what more does she want?"
I hope you all have enjoyed this edition of #LessWrong is terrible, and hopefully, this will fucking stick.
I'm sure I have more laying around somewhere.
Again, thank you for listening.