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Samara 🦑 Larkin @squidlarkin
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[CN: graphic sexual descriptions]

all right, let's get juicy. if you don't want to hear about sex with trans people you should probably mute me for a bit
and same disclaimer, this is about activities between consenting adults, I'm not trying to shame people into doing anything they don't want to

(I hate that I have to keep saying this)
so as you may be aware, I'm in the market for a brand new vagina, and while asking around I got in touch with a girl who's just recovered from The Surgery™ and she asked if I wanted to come over and have a look in person

I ended up doing more than just looking
and, well, I was saying in the other thread that good sex is all about communication, finding out what the other person likes. but she was working with new equipment, she didn't even know what she liked yet. which put me in an interesting position
because, trans or not, I'm a lesbian. I know my way around a vagina. I had a better idea of what would feel good than she did

found her g-spot right away, knew how much pressure it needed and when, what kind of stimulation her clit wanted... everything worked exactly as expected
so now I'm even MORE sure that I want one of my own

and yes, you heard me right. she has a g-spot. most trans women do, actually.

the male and female reproductive systems are variations on a single theme. they both develop from the same tissues, which means that every part of your anatomy corresponds with a specific part of the anatomy of the opposite sex (if you'll forgive my speaking in binary terms)
the homologue of the Skene's glands (which are what you're stimulating when you press on the g-spot) is the prostate. its connection to the nervous system is identical. as far as sensation and orgasmic response goes, there's no difference between the two organs
similarly, the clitoris and the glans penis are literally the same thing. the clitoral hood is the foreskin. the shaft of the penis is the internal clitoris, this cool branching structure of erectile tissue that straddles the vaginal canal
and while there are differences in function besides just location and shape, some of it isn't set in stone. hormones change things. it's hard to describe, but after a while on estrogen a penis really does become more like a giant clit in some ways (and vice versa on testosterone)
things like smell and texture are affected ("why is no one talking about the mouthfeel?") but also response to different kinds of sensation

so like, I used to be all about penetration. and vibration did nothing for me. coming up on two years, things have switched around a bit
just in general, my sexual response has changed to be more like how cis women describe theirs

there's more of a mental component, I HAVE to be in the mood. and I'm less likely to have sharp, over-and-done orgasms. more likely to have multiple ones
this is kinda hard to write because I'm getting turned on thinking about some recent experiences. my junk might be weird and confusing now, but I'm having fun figuring it out, and I've been having the most intense and satisfying sex of my life
I think I was planning on having this be some kind of guide on what to expect during sex with a trans woman, but honestly: who knows

just go in with no expectations, talk your way through it, embrace the confusion
upon further reflection I have a lot more to say here. big surprise

as fascinating as hormones and biology are, they're only part of what makes trans sex so weird and complicated. an even bigger part of it is what makes us trans in the first place:
gender dysphoria. and its underappreciated opposite, gender euphoria

(and before anyone objects to me saying dysphoria is a requirement, I'm not only talking about physical dysphoria; even just wanting to transition is itself dysphoria)
trans people, as a rule, love to have our genders validated and hate to have them invalidated. it's just how we're wired

it almost sounds like a delusion except that cis people ALSO hate to have their genders invalidated, they just never had to deal with it happening every day
whether cis or trans, women generally like to feel like women in the bedroom. and men generally like to feel like men.

like, everyone knows this. it's perfectly normal. it's only seen as a weird fetish thing when it's trans people doing it
the upshot of all this is that if you want to make a trans woman feel good, a big part of that is making her feel like a woman. but you should NOT assume that you know what "feeling like a woman" means to her, because everyone's experience of gender is different
gender isn't a binary, stereotypes are only useful as vague guides, always be prepared to question your assumptions

in life, I mean. not just in the bedroom

and if you want to read way too many words from me about how gender works, here:
so let's talk specifics. a trans person probably feels some ways about their genitals. what kind of ways? you'll probably find out

it's generally a good idea to ask early on what they'd prefer their parts to be called, for one thing, because saying the wrong thing could be Bad
like, a trans guy MIGHT be ok with you talking about his vagina, but he might want you to call it his front hole. and he might have a clit or it might be his dick (homologous structures, remember?)

and I can't resist the chance to repost this OC
and like, having a girlcock doesn't make me any less of a woman. sometimes I even find it empowering. I don't think I'll miss it, exactly, once I've completed my magical girl transformation, but there are circumstances when using it as intended doesn't trigger my dysphoria
like one time I fucked a trans guy with it and that was wild, it was kinda like having straight sex but in reverse

a fun thing about penetration is that if you unfocus your mind's eye you can sometimes forget who's inside who for a while
also I am absolutely going to cast a silicone replica of my girlcock and wear it as a strapon afterward

and I'm also gonna fuck myself with it. because omg that is the hottest fucking thing

never let anyone tell you being trans is all about suffering, this shit can be FUN
let's see, what else... a lot of trans girls like receiving anal, both because being the receiving partner is femme-coded and also because it's the best way to reach that g-spot if you're still running with factory-installed parts. but not all of us do, and not every time
and genitals can be stimulated in lots of different ways, like even if topping makes me dysphoric I'm pretty much always ok with someone going down on me. and also I really need to get myself a magic wand or something similar, for those times when my clit is just a clit
and even if for whatever reason one partner's genitals are completely off limits at the moment, you can still have a satisfying sexual encounter. even if there's no chance of an orgasm for that partner. it just needs to be negotiated, to make sure no one feels taken advantage of
in fact, let's challenge the assumption that sex needs to include an orgasm. you can do things that feel good and help you connect with your partner and not worry about any kind of destination. (counterintuitively, this attitude often leads to MORE orgasms in the long run)
and to get REALLY controversial: a relationship doesn't need sex

even if you have a healthy, non-dysphoric libido, your romantic connections don't necessarily need to be contingent on getting off. you can find other outlets. this is negotiable, like everything else
asexuals need love too*, whether their asexuality is a matter of circumstance or just the way they are. those relationships can still be incredibly rewarding

*(aro people are also valid)
and I think a lot of the time, people have sex just because they want connection, that release of oxytocin, and it's an easy way to break down the barriers between people

but have you tried just cuddling? I'm serious. it's pretty great all on its own, especially skin-to-skin
anyhow I hope no one minds that my weird trans sex thread got all unexpectedly wholesome at the end

I think that's a good overview. happy to answer any questions (though if you're cis you should pay me)

have fun, question everything, hail Eris 💞
UPDATE: I've learned some things in the last couple days

remember what I said about the internal clitoris? turns out there's more to the penis as well. and when you pay attention to what parts correspond, things get REAL interesting
if you look at a diagram of it, you'll see the vestibular bulbs, which straddle the vaginal entrance, and behind/beyond them, these two "legs" called the crura (singular crus, latin for leg, because medical terminology is full of things that sound exotic only because latin)
the homologue of the vestibular bulbs is the corpus spongiosum, which is the, yes, spongy bit of erectile tissue that runs along the underside of the penis, ending in its own bulb - this was news to me - past the base of the penis, inside the scrotum
and if you keep exploring further down and deeper in, you'll find these two ridges that are the extensions of the corpora cavernosum: the crura of the penis.

my new favorite part of my body.
they're FULL of nerve endings; if I understand correctly, the same ones that in a cis woman would be stimulated mainly when being penetrated by something fairly girthy

and y'know what it feel like I'm doing when I stimulate them?

it feels like I'm fingering myself. because I am
would it have felt this good before HRT? no idea

and I'm still exploring this, I can think of a lot of things I could try out both alone and with a partner

this is a game-changer, both for the sensation alone and how gender-affirming it is
like, any worries I had about not being able to have a fully satisfying sex life from now until surgery are gone. even if I'm completely done with topping with my girlcock, this was a good trade

YMMV, of course, but I highly recommend exploring this if you're transfemme
I don't have a good ending for the thread now, whatever, I just wanted to share this news. have fun, good luck, keep trying things
oh uh people keep asking me to mention muffing. I've tried it, I'm not into it, but clearly it works for some folks, here's a good article about it (and about how terrible doctors can be, and how we need to keep talking to each other and sharing this info)…
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