let's talk about that.
that's how it works for any marginalized group you don't belong to. we're more aware of what language is harmful to us than you are, and we don't always have the energy to explain
when someone says "ow, you're standing on my foot", your first response should be to move your damn foot, not say "but I'm not putting all my weight on it!"
but if you get defensive about it, I might start to suspect that you do
but they also don't always match what you'd expect, because intersex people exist. and you probably don't even know your own karyotype for sure, it's not a routine test
if enough people say it and believe it, that becomes the reality we live in. why do you think transphobes get so upset when we say it?
and that's a hotly debated topic, but science has some insights there as well
we know that incongruence of gender identity is a part of normal human variation, not a delusion, not something that can or should be "cured"
we know that transition is an effective treatment for dysphoria
we know that the outcomes are far worse when we're not
it costs you nothing to stop saying it, unless you think I'm "erasing womanhood" and I've already written on that
in everyday life "sex" and "gender" are basically synonymous, they're mostly only treated as separate concepts when we talk about trans people. and it's not helpful. let's stop doing that