btw, if this thread resonated with you and you still have a problem with phrases like "bisexual lesbian" or "pansexual lesbian", you missed the point
you can't approve of where I'm at without accepting how I got here
you can't approve of where I'm at without accepting how I got here
I say this because I and several of my mutuals have been harassed today for defending the use of such phrases. so once more,
I'm not even a huge fan of "bisexual lesbian" but the fact is that many women who are technically bisexual still call themselves lesbians, and have very good reasons for doing so, and it's pointless to attack them for it or try to cover it up
like do you think it's actually going to keep men from hitting on us? the whole point of lesbian identity is that it ISN'T ABOUT MEN, so let's not let the fear of men determine how we use the label
I'm a lesbian because I love women, what I might do with men is irrelevant
I'm a lesbian because I love women, what I might do with men is irrelevant
before I even realized I was trans, lesbians chose to sleep with me. I did not pursue them. they were not traitors against lesbianism; if anything, they recruited me. they helped me find myself.
and the worst part is I know that by saying all this, I'm rocking the boat, putting trans inclusion at risk, because people might think I don't respect gendered boundaries, which is absolutely not the case
but if I stay quiet about it, I'm letting the dominant narrative win, I'm presenting a sanitized version of my queer experience that reinforces the fiction that categories are more rigidly defined than they really are
until recently I actually thought all this lezsep stuff was mostly a thing of the past, that the younger generations were embracing queerness and making labels inclusive again, but now I see this backlash happening and... are we always going to be fighting each other like this?
some cis people hate trans people because they think we're reinforcing the gender binary, but others will ONLY accept us if we reinforce the binary, and I'm just not sure what to do about that
but the real problem with hating the term "bisexual lesbian" - and a LOT of folks do, just search this site for it and see - is that even though I don't call myself that, I don't know if I count as a REAL lesbian in their eyes or not. like, do they even know about comphet?
and even if they do, and they accept that I had to question and experiment and I've accepted my True Identity as a Real Lesbian now, AND they're fine with lesbians dating NB people (not a given), do I have to pretend that this tweet isn't true?
ultimately it's not that big of a deal, I'm going to keep calling myself what it makes the most sense to call myself, but it makes me extremely nervous to know that there's this landmine buried in the discourse surrounding an identity that's so important to me
