It’s ok to like Spider-Man, but he’s not a hero. He doesn’t have a hero’s heart. Neither does Iron Man, to be honest. If your child was in danger would you call Spider-Man, Iron Man or Batman? Be honest. You’d call Batman.
Iron Man would be too busy counting his money and fooling around in his lab. He’d send your call straight to voicemail. Spider-Man would be playing Fortnite or watching Worldstar videos. Batman would come no questions asked because he has A HERO’S HEART.
Am I saying Bruce Wayne doesn’t have problems? No! We all know he’s struggling and is not even a little ok, but he has a hero’s heart. Admit this to yourself so you can sleep soundly tonight.
Superman is better than Spider-Man or Iron Man, but he’s an alien and could turn anytime. We don’t really know him.
My point is that Spider-Man is NOBODY’S 1st, 2nd or 25th call in an emergency because deep down you know he’s unreliable and isn’t a real hero. Case closed and thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
All of you know I’m right. In a life or death situation between Batman and Spider-Man you’re not calling Arachna-Boy, no way. Batman may not have jokes, people skills, or the ability to form meaningful relationships but he’s going show up and save your life bet.
Spider-Man’s abilities are basically advanced parkour and animal instincts. You could replace him with a cat and a very good gymnast sorry.
And he doesn’t have a hero’s heart.
If Spider-Man didn’t get bitten in that lab he’d be selling oregano baggies behind ITT Technical Institute. He’s not a bad person (other than getting his uncle killed) but he’s not a hero.
Is Spider-Man cute and funny? Yes. Do I see his entertainment value? Yes. But do I hate him? Yes.
If you think Iron Man is going to show up for you when he can barely show up for Pepper you’re lying to yourself.
If you think Iron Man is going to answer your emergency call with anything other than, “How did you get this number,” you’re lying to yourself.
I hate Spider-Man and I always will. He crossed the line when he made my only son love him. Nothing will change my mind.
You’re right. I should give Spider-Man a chance. I bet his family has nice things to say about him. Let’s ask his uncle OH WAIT
I have to go to bed. Sweet dreams to everyone who likes Batman. 🖤
Thanos should have scrunched Spider-Man in a paper towel and flushed him down the toilet because live like a spider die like a spider right? Ok gnight friends
