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Riaz Gilani @RiazGilani
, 3 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
7 rhinos die after translocation to Tsavo. @coldtusker this is what I was asking about. These guys don't seem to have a CLUE what they're doing. The orphanage is run more like a zoo, and all priorities are now skewed. capitalfm.co.ke/news/2018/07/7…
So-called "conservationists" are jostling for position for the KWS directorship after that controversial mineral/tap water drama queen retired. I think we should just machine-gun all that's left of our wildlife because we aren't morally equipped to look after them.
Utterly ridiculous. When we see advertisements seeking opinions about culling wildlife for commercial purposes, it becomes clear that we are on a terribly slippery slope to oblivion. Shame, shame, shame on all of us.
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[THREAD] So, there's a syndicate of crooks in #Kenya who have been cloning vehicle registration plates, and using random vehicles to commit crimes.
A few months ago, i had tweeted about being paid a visit at my place of business by two smartly dressed plain-clothes police officers and a Chinese national.
They said that they had "evidence" that a vehicle registered to me was involved in a house-breaking in Kilimani.
Read 58 tweets
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My dog has no nose.

How does he smell?

Terrible!
What's the best thing to put in a pie?

Your teeth!
Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him?

He wanted to see how long he could sleep.
Read 8 tweets
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When Netflix arrived and Multichoice started phoning me to ask why I wasn't a subscriber any more. I gave them feedback but they didn't listen. Such stupidness from Multichoice really. On demand content is the way of the future. No repeats. No fixed bouquets.
I know how it feels to have a struggling business - starting out was tough as hell. You think you know what a customer wants and you proceed that way, but fail to keep up with customer expectations. Like Nokia. Like BlackBerry. Arrogance.
They told me: "Netflix doesn't have live sport or news."
I replied: "I can stream most of that."
And they talked about exclusivity of certain content - which can be streamed as well.
Know all the answers? Not all of us are tech savvy, but know enough to see a raw deal.
Read 3 tweets

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For the last 24 hours I've been texting & calling with refugees in Libya. 500 are apparently stuck in a Tripoli prison w/o food & water after heavy fighting broke out two days ago. They say their guards ran away, leaving them alone.
These refugees are men, women & children. They tried to cross the Mediterranean earlier this year, but were found by Italian boats, who turned them over to the EU-backed Libyan coastguard, who put them in prison. The conditions were already terrible before the fighting started.
Oh the phone earlier I could hear children crying & what sounded like bombing in the distance. The refugees say everyone's incredibly frightened. "We hear machine guns, tanks, big bombs, last night from the roof it was all fire."
Read 293 tweets
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“Smell am!” He screamed, pressing the cold metal on my nose.

“Wetin be dis?”

“Na gun” I said, as boiling point urine dropped on my boxers.

Guns are sexy in movies when with it, the actor kills 95 bad guys. Not as much in real life, pointed at you.

Brethren
Issa thread
Brethren, I live my life I no like trouble.

Yet somehow, even in the most innocuous situations, these village Chinwetalu Agu et al manage to sneak wahala into everything.

I had enjoyed four blissful months with Pamela. A very adventurous young lady, fun and crazy to be with.
We met at the birthday Dinner of someone hanging somewhere on Progress’s family tree.

He said the celebrant was his Aunty’s brother’s friend’s cousin....

I zoned out after cousin like “Baba abi food go dey? Let’s go. Happy birthday to your grandSister.

Wetin concern me?”
Read 48 tweets
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@DoubleEph @realFejiro All of u heaping blame on GEJ lemme tell you what I know for a Fact as this matter affected me personally... Issa thread in a thread.
@DoubleEph @realFejiro In 2014 i worked in a multinational manufacturing company that imported well over 2bn worth of raw materials annually and held stock of 1bn as buffer stock. By 2015, my friends came to Australia for their MSc and paid 8.14m (AUD1 to NGN148)
@DoubleEph @realFejiro By 2015 August, after PMB had shut d gates of the CBN, my company couldn't import raw materials, sales dropped, we cut production from 2 shifts of 300 guys each to 1. (300 lost jobs). Buffer stock could only cover a 2 month production run. Panic hit
Read 10 tweets
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Marriage Proposal
Episode 1
The First Attempt
4 evry lng lost road I went led me 2 whr u r. Odas who broke my hrt, were lyk d northern stars, guiding me on my way, in2 ur luvin arms. dis much I knw is true n I pray dt God bless d broken roads dt led me strait 2 u. Pls b my bride
dese were d exact words of Uche as he bent down wit a knee n brought out d diamond ring out proposing 2 Mary.
dese happened in a restaurant @ ard past 8pm. Uche had planned it all out in such a way dt he had his best friend Kunle dere n 3 of Mary's friend 2 spice up d whole scene
"Awn awn, dis is so lovely" Mary's best friend Loveth said.
"Oh My God, I neva knew Uche can b dis romantic oh. Mary u r very lucky." Omoye, 1 of Mary's friend dere said.
"Please Mary, say yes oh yes, yes" Titi, Mary's last friend said as she gesticulated wit her hands n smiled.
Read 311 tweets
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› back to black ‧ taekook au

the one where taehyung is a spy, jungkook is his target, and the world is their playground.
The first time Taehyung goes on a mission, it’s by complete accident.

There’s some sort of chaos outbreak at HQ, and before he knows it, Taehyung--an untrained, unpaid, unsure intern--is swept into a slick black SUV and sent off to an unknown location.
He looks around, not very optimistic at the sight of the other nervous faces in the car. When the vehicle finally stops, the doors are pulled open by a very gruff-looking man, his face streaked with blood and his arm in a rough-looking sling.
Read 594 tweets
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Almost all of the Road Runner cartoons are available via the @BoomerangToons app.

I subscribed for $5 & decided I'm gonna watch & tweet about 'em all in chronological order, even the later, terrible ones, for which I have an irrational affection.

Here we go.
#BeepBeep
#MeepMeep
Boomerang lists them alphabetically not chronologically so Chuck Jones masterpieces sit side-by-side with 1960s atrocities (& later 'revival' attempts.)

I am going to start at the beginning. I will also be including Wile E. Coyote/Bugs Bunny & Ralph Wolf/Sam Sheepdog shorts, FYI
September 17, 1949: "Fast And Furry-ous"

Chuck Jones intended this short to be a parody of cat & mouse "chase" cartoons. Instead, he accidentally created the definitive chase cartoon series of all time.
Read 1189 tweets

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