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Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo @GbengaWemimo
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Her friends would talk freely to her about their admirers
She was the stable one, the voice of reason
She was the one they come to for counsel
The one with the ancient head on her shoulders
This started right from secondary school
It was the default role she found herself playing
The process continued into her university days
Her friends brought other ladies to her
Age, class, status or level didn't count
They came by the drove
And she readily listened and nudged them in the right direction
Most times her counsel worked out fine
It was a rare gift
It had to be an innate gift because she had no experience whatsoever
She was beautiful in her own way
She had no deformity
Her facial structure was fine
She filled out properly in the right places
She carries herself elegantly
She is also highly intelligent
A beauty and an asset
But she had never ever been looked at the way guys look at other girls
Not once had she been written to, asked out or even noticed
Her friends thought she had her life all planned out and didn't have time for a relationship
They didn't know how lonely she was, how bad it feels!
The universal truth is, we all want to be desired
Even if for just one day, she would like to see a man look at her in a way that said 'I want you'
If there was anything worse for a woman than being regarded as a sexual object, it is not being regarded as one
She felt incomplete
Out of desperation, she approached a classmate when they were in the final year
She had always liked the guy and feel she ought to speak out before they graduate
If she cannot get a man in the university, where would she find one
'Sis, I cannot think of you that way" said the guy
Men declare their attraction, love, affection, longing, even lust for ladies all the time. Ladies were given the option of accepting or rejecting such everyday.
Ladies also do the same and men take it or leave it
What was wrong with her?
Nobody thinks of her that way
At 33, she had tried all the tricks in the book to land herself a boyfriend. Nothing worked.
Even married men whom she knows sleep around didn't look her way.
She couldn't even get a one night stand!
Nobody wants her!
How cursed can she be?
She ran to church!
Desperate times!
Church didn't help either
She met a lot of single brothers and sisters in the singles fellowship
They were not simply marrying each other as she had imagined
She stayed because there were other social activities to keep her sane
The brothers didn't see her as usual
She went for counselling
Did deliverance
Became born again
Received the gift of the Holy Spirit
Built up herself in her most holy faith
The desperation waned
Depression lifted
She had the joy of the Holy Spirit
But there was still no suitor, not even a secret admirer
Their church invited a minister to conduct a service
The minister sent his assistant
The assistant saw her and said 'Go and bring your mother here"
Her mother had always lived with her
She brought her mother to church
"Why didn't you want this lady to marry' he asked her mother
Her mother: Who would take care of me if she got married? As my only child whom I suffered to raise, i have the right to be cared for.
If she gets a man she will become loyal to her husband and I will start suffering like other foolish parents
She will marry once I am dead.
She sank to her knees.
At 38, her mother was talking about her woe as dispassionately as if she was talking about a piece of property.
This was her life! Her own mother!!
The pastor was smart.
He quickly told her to hold her mother's leg and promise she would never neglect her
She did.
The next day she made a huge deposit into her mother's account, opened a big shop for her
Her mother blessed her
Pastor prayed
The yoke was broken
One year later, she married the assistant Pastor God used to solve her problem
Marriage is 7 years and two children stong
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