Thread by @kieranGallaghr

A cautionary tale:
o2 wrote to me asking if I wanted to 'upgrade' to a brand new phone AND save £35/week.
Me: "Hell YES I do."

"Send us your old phone."
I send in my Sony Xperia Z3 Compact.
1/6

"Okay, choose between a Nokia 3310 or 'No phone'."
Me: "LOLWUT? You said I'd get a new phone?"

"It IS new. Unboxed since the late 90s, or thereabouts."
Me: "Then I'll take my old phone back."

"No."
Me: "Yes. Give it back."
2/6

"We can't give it back because that would be against your wishes."
Me: "How the fuck is that against my wishes?! I'm asking for it back."
3/6

"Yes, but you did say you wanted a new phone instead of what you had."
Me: "Now I'm saying otherwise now that I know what my choices are. Give me my old phone!"

"Nah. To do so would be against your will. We have to respect your decision."
Me: "I'm changing my decision!"
4/6

"You can't really do that because the new decision doesn't respect your previous decision. You're subverting your own will."
Me: "Am I FUCK!"
5/6

Oops. Silly me. '@O2' should say '@theresa_may's Government' and 'Nokia 3310' should say 'any possible Brexit deal the EU can agree to'. There might be a spec of nostalgia there for some people but it WON'T. DO. ANYTHING. Especially anything you expect from a phone in 2018.
6/end

Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge o2 would never stoop to the level of @theresa_may's Government.

Who knows? *cough* *AHEM* *hint HINT*
They might even offer to set me up with an Xperia XZ2 Compact with a £35/week* saving.

*I currently pay, like, £12/month on giffgaff lol