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Paul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins
, 13 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
BASEBALL
Just saw a kid on the Jumbotron doing the laziest floss I’ve ever seen #WorldSeries
Please can we stop singing God Bless America at ballgames and also at all other times not for political reasons but because it is EXTREMELY CORNY and also for political reasons
We did NOT receive towels upon entering the stadium but when the other people around us wave them they actually create a little breeze which is quite nice
BAAAAAAAAASEBAAAAAAAALLLL
My phone battery and my will to live are both at 7% #WorldSeries
Pls forward all my mail to Vin Scully Avenue because I guess I live here now
14th INNING STRETCH #WorldSeries
Phone is at 1%. This will be my final message from Dodger Stadium. Please tell my wife, who is sitting right next to me, that I love her. #WorldSeries
Thank you for delivering us from exile Max Muncy
That was a very brisk two baseball games
I am exhausted from tension. When it got to be the 17th inning I thought they were going to start drafting people from the crowd and I was panicking that there would be no screening process
I think it was the 14th inning where people were openly defying the MAKE SOME NOISE directive on the screens. It made me feel uneasy about our future together as captives.
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More from @PFTompkins see all

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Lot of experts on “trying out material” have found voice of late
“I’m working on this bit where I sound like an ignorant bully BUT after I have finished the bit it will not sound like that at all, I bet. You gotta trust the process.”
“Look, here’s how comedy works: the actual premise is THE LAST thing that comes into place.”
Read 7 tweets
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“I'm saying, Come on, the global warming thing? How did the ice melt during the ice ages? Was the dinosaurs driving SUVs around back then?”
“Ever since my grade school days, as I mastered the art of 'faking sick' and I stumbled across 'The View,' I've been confusedly asking myself the same question... How do these dumb broads remain gainfully employed?”
“The children now... show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”
Read 6 tweets
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Please sign my petition to have Macy’s add a Mucinex Mucus Man balloon to their parade
This guy is okay, but not a fun phlegm goblin? Come on
I actually feel guilty now, look how sad he he looks. He is HAUNTED.
Read 4 tweets

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Trump is running about 15 minutes late for his press conference because he had a busy morning... ah..... tweeting.

Follow me for a video thread, whenever it gets going.
Trump had absolutely nothing on his public calendar this morning and he is 25 minutes late and counting for his news conference
TRUMP: "Last night to the Republican party defied history to expand our Senate majority while significantly beating expectations in the House for the midtown (sic)... and the midterm year."

He then pivots to bashing the media.
Read 44 tweets
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As a warm-up for my #Mickey90 megathread starting 11/18, I'm gonna watch as many of Disney's Oswald The Lucky Rabbit cartoons as I can get access to, since OTLR is basically Mickey Mouse 1.0

I mean, just look at him. Walt lost the rights to OTLR & then re-created him as MM!
I own this dvd collection from 2007 which I was SO excited to own but I still haven't gotten around to watching, over a decade later! This twitter thread will be my excuse to finally watch these films.
There are 26 Oswald shorts by Disney. 13 are on the DVD set. They have since found 6 more, and 7 are still "lost." I think I will be able to watch 16 of them?

Here is an awesome book by @dave_bossert that pretty much covers everything about OTLR:
Read 175 tweets
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Extreme far-left groups descending on downtown Portland tonight for election day.
They are rallying to demand the abolishment of Immigration and Customs Enforcement. “...what immigrant families are experiencing today, closely resembles life in Nazi Germany.” #Portland
Footage from the open borders protest on election day in #Portland. "ACAB. All cops are bastards." "F— ICE, no KKK, no fascist USA."
Read 11 tweets
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#QAlert 11/6/18 This will be my thread for all #QPosts for ELECTION DAY! Tuesday, November 6, 2018. WILL YOU ANSWER THE CALL? History books, this is not a game and more!

Let’s Go!
#ElectionDayIn4Words

@POTUS #QAnon #QArmy #WWG1WGA #MAGA #VoteRED #PatriotsUnited #VoteRED2018
#QAlert 11/6/18 Q2429
📁
DECLAS coming.
Remain in the public light (safety).
Q
#ElectionDayIn4Words
@POTUS #QAnon #QArmy #WWG1WGA #MAGA #VoteRED #PatriotsUnited #VoteRED2018
#QAlert 11/6/18 Q2430

📁
Eyes On, Patriots!
History books.
Q

#ElectionDayIn4Words
@POTUS #QAnon #QArmy #WWG1WGA #MAGA #VoteRED #PatriotsUnited #VoteRED2018
Read 22 tweets
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45 Days Of @ElvisCostello: a twitter megathread in anticipation of the Oct 12 release date of LOOK NOW, the new LP by Elvis Costello & The Imposters

This is either a bright idea or a brilliant mistake, but this is only, this is only, this is only the beginning...
I did something similar to this 5 years ago, in anticipation of EC & @theroots' Wise Up Ghost LP, on tumblr.

(You can still find all those posts if you look, although a lot of the YouTube links etc are now dead ends. It was 40 Days Of EC then, so for 2018 I'm upping it to 45.)
Mostly I will be going chronologically from the early years right up to the present, but it feels right to start out with Costello's 2002 song, "45."

Music Video directed by @jessebdylan


(There's an alternate "diner" version I can't find anywhere online)
Read 2378 tweets

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