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Lane Rettig @lrettig
, 15 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
Twas the night before DevCon, when all through the chain
Not an Etherean was stirring, not even Vlad's brain.
The blocks were all hung on the blockchain with care,
In hopes that Vitalik soon would be there.
The hackers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of hodlmoon danced in their heads,
And Doge dressed in rainbows, and I in swag cap,
Had just settled down for a crypto winter nap,
When on Etherscan there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my Airbnb to see what was the matter.
Away to my console I flew like a flash,
Tore open my Ledger and threw up some math.
I checked @ETHGasStation and the standard gas cost
Was 100 gwei, so all hope was still lost.
When, what to my wandering node should appear,
But a tiny eth client, and eight cypher deer,
With a very young coder, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it was Vitalik.
More rapid than dank memes his cypher deer came,
And he whispered, and tweeted, and called them by name:
Now, BARLOW! Now, GILMORE! now, NAKA and MOTO!
To the head of the chain! to the top of the stack!
Now hack away! hack away! hack a way back!
As transactions that before Shasper may fly,
When they hit a full txpool, to /dev/null, and die,
So up to the chain head the hackers they flew,
With buffers of bytecode, and Vitalik too,
And then, in one blocktime, I heard on the chain
The hemming and hawing of each little brain.
As I fired up geth and was turning around,
Down the long blockchain V came with a bound.
His bytecode all rainbows, from head to foot,
And his full node all tarnished with unicorn poop;
A full sharded client he had in his pack,
It was like Satoshi had finally come back.
His code—how it twinkled! his functions how merry!
His logic was roses, his syntax a cherry!
His smart contract's gas cost was ever so low,
And the bulk of his code was all written in go!
A VDF beacon he had in his script,
And the gas that encircled his contract, it dipped!
It was forty bytes long, only one main function
That entered, re-entered, then quit in one junction.
His code was too genius, I thought him a troll,
And I laughed when I saw it, and then—a rick roll!
Rainbows and unicorns, and golden Doge head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to work,
And increased the throughput; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his pointer aside of his code,
And paying one wei, up the blockchain he strode;
He sprang back to his client, to his team gave the mark
And away they all flew like one more ZK snark.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he hacked out of sight,
(@EFDevcon is truly a special time of year for the Ethereum community. This is my small way of saying I love you all and I can't wait to share this incredible experience with everyone. See you bright and early tomorrow morning!)
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