"These wars are a disaster. Absolute disaster. Not my doing, I can assure you. If it was me, you'd be in whole new wars by now because we'd have won all of these. New wars in better countries. The way you win wars, you control the "air sphere." We never did that. Terrible."
"The 'air sphere,' it's so important. You've got to win it. And we WILL win it. It's like a ball, a very tight ball that you keep your planes in. We've got new planes, they're amazing. They can fly in perfect circles. The enemy can't even get into the air sphere. Amazing."
"I ask our generals, I say: hot air balloons? They're spheres. You float overhead, drop bombs right out of the basket. Control the air sphere. The war's over, folks, it's over, believe me. Big beautiful war balloons. We're going to have the Balloon Force. Next year. War's over."
"Every single war in history, every winning general, every one, controlled the air sphere. Patton, MacArthur, Sun Tzu, Napoleon. Air sphere. Obama, he didn't control the air sphere, and it was a disaster. He ignored it, folks. Obama ignored the air sphere. We lost the wars."
"I tell you a country I've always wanted to invade: Australia. What's stopping us? What's stopping us? I ask the generals, they say 'nothing.' But we're in this disaster of a war, you haven't won it yet. I'll win it for you. Balloon Force, folks. Boom. It's done. Australia next."
"I've always wanted to ride a kangaroo. When I was a young man I'd make the gardener wear a kangaroo suit and I'd ride him. Great fellow. It was like he was a part of the family. His name was ... He could jump, this guy. But he never threw me off. And he tried folks. He tried."
"We are going to get balloons and fill them with specially-trained kangaroos, and we are going to invade Australia. They have oil out there, folks. Oil comes from deserts. One of the biggest deserts in the world, and they don't even drill. Australians never drill. Never drill."
"BALLOON FORCE KANGAROO GARDENERS ARE GONNA DRILL AUSTRALIA. Everyone knows we need it, but nobody does it. Nobody does it. I'm the only one who even talks about it. Before me, nobody's talking about Balloon Force kangaroo gardeners. I'm the first one, the only one who did that."
"WE WILL MAKE THE AUSTRALIANS DRILL. AND WE'RE GOING TO DO IT HERE. AND WE'RE GOING TO DO IT NOW. Hot air balloons over land, drills in the sand. God bless you, God bless me, and God bless Australia.
"Australia and Austria are two different countries, very few people know that"
"Australia and Austria are two different countries, very few people know that"
