Let me back track a bit so you understand why I’m totally fine w/ myself and 3/
My dad is the son of Serbian immigrants. First generation American on his mom’s side. My mom’s listed as full blood Ogalala Sioux but I have blue eyed siblings (long story). Both sides of my family produce human bodies 4/
So I really am that short, stocky peasant woman who can have a baby in the morning 7/
I was back to work 3 days after my daughter was born. And only because they kept me in the hospital for 3 days because Minnesota is awesome people.
So I actually am “big boned” though not huge fat bones. Just insanely dense ones. 8/
Those tests told me that 9/
But I pay for it in a couple of ways. Dense elastic bones are heavy and the muscles that attach to 10/
If I were at the weight Jimmy’s chart said I should be (100-130#) I would be skeletal. I would look like a resident of a gulag.
I also know this because in my teens I freaked out about my weight and 11/
In my case my ideal weight is 150-160#. About the midpoint between a 5’1 woman and a 6’1 man. I’m strong peasant woman. Built like 13/
I weigh ~200#. My BMI is edging into the scary numbers (currently 27%). I know that. But you don’t know me Jimmy.
You don’t know that six years ago I nearly tore off my right leg below the knee. It took a 1400# draft horse to do it but 14/
You don’t know that I couldn’t walk for a year and only after 12 surgeries, 2 of which were so experimental that they said I could still lose my leg, 2 years of intense physical therapy and beating every 15/
But I didn’t just walk Jimmy. I learned how to walk, climb, run, kneel, ski, skate and work again. I taught myself 16/
Because this strong peasant woman can work all day.
I wake up and start my day by hauling 2 59# feed sacks on my shoulders 17/
I then load 40 gallons of water weighing 340# into a sled and pull it half a mile from my well to my livestock. Twice. Every day.
Then I haul hay 100# to feed them. Twice. Every day.
By this time I have been doing hard 18/
I eat another hearty lunch packed with energy and go back out again to build fences, chop wood, haul water, and enjoy my life. Sometimes I fix machines. Sometimes I consult on 21/
Because Jimmy. I’m your worst nightmare. I’m a fat romance author. And I’m one who can work circles around you despite my funky leg.
I don’t 22/
I don’t waste my time in a gym. I don’t have that time to 23/
I’m a fat romance writer with strange bones who loves to work on my farm, eat and laugh. I’m everything you fear.
But remember this Jimmy when they casted the Amazons for Wonder Woman they didn’t go to gyms. They casted two types of women. Olympians (which you are not) 24/
Remember that Jimmy.
I may be fat but I’m worthy of the Amazons.
I’m done 25/
So go out there. Write your books. Eat your food. Live your best life.
I will have your back.
Be happy. Happy writers write more books. And that’s what this world really needs. /Fin