Profile picture
Geraldine
@everywhereist
, 5 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
Everything is garbage right now, so I would like to talk about that Japanese infant with the mane of hair so big she looks like a tiny Elvis impersonator.
Honestly, this is the best thing I have ever seen. Babies are great when they are bald. But a baby with crazy Donnie Osmond-at-the-peak-of-his-career hair?

I DIE.
I love how in every photo she looks like she's wearing one of those furry Russian hats.
THIS BABY LOOKS LIKE SHE'S READY TO GUARD BUCKINGHAM PALACE.
Anywho, her instagram feed is giving me life right now. "IT'S NOT FAIR WE SHOULDN'T DO THAT TO CHILDREN" - yeah, I know. But in the spectrum of terrible things parents can do, securing your future with a Pantene gig as a baby is a pretty minor offense.

instagram.com/babychanco/?hl…
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to Geraldine
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @everywhereist see all

Profile picture
Geraldine
@everywhereist
Alright, Steven, and anyone else who's listening, I'm going to tell you some of the reasons why women don't come forward sooner.

Let's consider when Kavanaugh allegedly attacked Ford: the 1980s.

I was in high school in the 90s. And believe me, date rape was not a thing then.
Let me be clear: it existed then, but it wasn't called rape. Rape was like, a stranger breaking into your room or attacking you in an alley.

Date rape, or assault, or anything like that by someone you knew? That just meant that you messed up.
You weren't the right kind of girl - the kind of girl that guys respected, and that was your fault. You hadn't cultivated the right kind of reputation.

Or you didn't so no clearly enough. You didn't fight back hard enough. You gave in.

You were such a little weakling.
Read 14 tweets
Profile picture
Geraldine
@everywhereist
guy walks around with a fire hose that sprays poop
he's soaking everyone
little kids are getting knocked over by the sheer force

"EVERYONE JUST PUT ON HAZMAT SUITS. CONSIDER GETTING GETTING A POOP HOSE YOURSELF. BECAUSE WE HAVE THIS OLD PAPER THAT SAYS POOP HOSES ARE A RIGHT."
"Look," some say, "This was never the purpose of a poop hose. I mean, yes, it was designed to spray poop. That's the ONLY thing it does. But anyone who uses it against another person is insane."

"So perhaps we can do a mental health check on people buying poop hoses?"

"NO."
Children take to the streets, because they are tired of getting sprayed with poop in school. Teachers join them.

"Give the teachers poop hoses," some say.

"I did not become a teacher to spray someone with poop," one teacher remarks.

"You should have known that was a risk."
Read 6 tweets
Profile picture
Geraldine
@everywhereist
I would like to take a moment to discuss something that has always bothered me every holiday season.

I think it's weird that the Whos down in Whoville and The Grinch are carnivores.
It is safe to assume that the Whos and the Grinch are mammals. They appear to be, anyway. And we can safely assume that the Roast beast is, too, though it might possess a cloven hoof (which the Whos and the Grinch do not appear to).
But there is something, something about the shape and size of the roast beast that I find unnerving. It is not altogether that different from the shape of the Grinch or the Whos themselves.
Read 14 tweets

Related threads

Profile picture
Jennifer Mendelsohn 🇺🇸
@CleverTitleTK
Everything is shit right now, but Rainier cherries are so very good.
(I had them on top of my wedding cake, even. ❤️)
And I just searched FB for a picture of my wedding cake. Which I didn't find. But I did find this. Which I still think is one of the most breathtaking wedding pictures I've ever seen. Taken by my brother @mattmendelsohn. facebook.com/19762013692696…
Read 3 tweets
Profile picture
Cyrus Toulabi
@CyrusToulabi
I can't with this guy...but interestingly, he's also revealing a lot with each one of these interviews.

Why not just go speak to the Grand Jury? Clearly, it's not about avoiding spending more time talking about the investigation and your experience...

He can't help himself..
#NOW: SAM NUNBERG says he was told he wasn't a target or a subject of the investigation and he was OFFERED IMMUNITY by the Special Counsel's team.

He also said THEY WANT HIM TO TESTIFY...TO CATCH ROGER STONE ON PERJURY...

ADMITTING THAT ROGER MAY HAVE LIED TO PROSECUTORS.
#LOL: Save this one...

SAM NUNBERG: "I'M NOT GOING TO JAIL, COME ON."
Read 5 tweets
Profile picture
Justin Fowler
@justinjfowler
1) A few people predicted that Trump would be elected, some at his first announcement, others later (like myself, May '16).

But who predicted the storm?

Exhibit A:
trunews.com/listen/firefig…
@EntheosShines @SaRaAshcraft @Annakhait @Kupi_Zak @LisaMei62
#TheStormIsHere #MAGA #QAnon
2) Hold with me here. I know even Trump supporters have been skeptical about Trump-related prophecies. I was too, & thought they were all hokey; I didn't even touch this one until someone insisted shortly after the election that it was 100% accurate. I listened, and was stunned.
3) Keep in mind that the author, Mark Taylor, says he wrote this down in 4/28/11, after seeing Trump talk about running. There's no evidential proof of this, but the fulfillments since the broadcast above dating 4/18/16 are astounding enough.
Read 30 tweets
Profile picture
Michael D. Hill
@GeePawHill
i spoze today is as good a day as any for me to start talking about what coaching is, about what i do and how and why.
tho i have these conversations in private, i have put off doing it here. i think it's a mix of factors. two amusing ones: i'm not very sure i have words for it. and i'm not sure i want to argue about it. :)
i am a software development coach. what i do is travel around and hang out with software teams as they work to create and ship programs. companies pay me to do this. i have been doing it for nearly 20 years.
Read 34 tweets

Trending hashtags

#onpoli #justiceMinister #Antifa #racists #actions #RESIST #light #Igor #hmmm #WINNING #public #ROGD #support #Mueller #ciswits #island #Caring #Elvis #UKLabour #read #SimonCoveney #emails #day3 #activity #BrendanCox

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member and get exclusive features!

Premium member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year)

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!