Thread by @Gigi_Peterkin

So some shit went down for me personally at the end of 2018. First, let me just say I'm old. I'm not old-old - sorry to anyone in their 80s but that's my definition of old-old these days. I am 48, so I'm Perimenopause old

so the "shit that went down" as I turned the page on 2018 is what began my #AdventuresInPerimenopause, aka the worst medical experience of my life...and I had my ankle surgically reconstructed w/no pain meds when I was 4 months pregnant

a few months before "shit went down" I had finally began to lose some of the 50lbs of extra weight that's been, well a weight, on me for a year. I was on a program, thinking about exercise - that's step 1, right? - and had safely dropped 15 lbs in 2 weeks

I'd noticed that despite the better diet and the weight loss, I still felt crap. my energy was at an all-time low, I was having MAJOR agida (stomach discomfort/pain), my joints hurt...all the things usually alleviated by weight loss were still hanging around

I'd also noticed, and my loving partner can attest, that my bitchy-meter was higher than usual. I was ping-ponging between ecstacy & joy and misery & loathing. it was a loop of PMD symptoms, without any relief #RealTalk #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause

oh, and another key component...I stopped getting my period. I'd gone from revisiting the high crimson seas, replete with gut-busting cramps and surprise arrivals - think 8th grade redux - to the sahara & crickets. nada. #RealTalk #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopaus

but hey, no periods? no problem! I'd been told I was in #Perimenopause for about a year. did you know you can get bloodwork to detect this? neither did I. apparently neither did my physician, who was offering her opinion re: the state of my ovaries on the regular #healthcare

where was I? oh, right - weight loss. that jiggly shit was coming off & I was happy about that. until it wasn't. I didn't so much plateau but crashed. after 2 weeks, my body put on the brakes. and then...I gained 10lbs in 3 days #RealTalk #healthcare #adventuresinperimenopause

now I was freaking out (in my brain, where women freak out because we think we have to remain calm for our kids, our lovers, our clients, our families...). I also had a dilemma...I had been "washed out" of the Medicaid system #RealTalk #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause

I don't want to dwell on the 'insurance thing' but it plays a part later and is a critical component of US #healthcare. short version: I was mistakenly removed. I requested a hearing, as is protocol #RealTalk #AdventuresInPerimenopause

Following proper channels to request a hearing, by a certain date - I did and I documented - I was guaranteed coverage from Nov 2018 until my TBD hearing date. whew. coverage was secured. good, coz I needed to see a doc about all this weird #AdventuresInPerimenopause #healthcare

Nov 29 I roll into my family physician's office. heavier, exhausted, mood-swingy & w/horrible indigestion, stomach pain, and general malaise. my stomach was bloated. I gave my doc the DL on life, missed periods, yo-yo weight et al. #RealTalk #healthcare #AdventuresinPerimenopause

missed periods were brushed off because #AdventuresInPerimenopause. I got an eyebrow raise re: weight loss/gain - did she even believe me? and she did an external physical exam of my swollen belly #RealTalk #AdventuresInPerimenopause #healthcare

stepping back, 4 minutes after I'd entered the exam room, my GP pronounced a Dx of GERD (based on previous med hx from year prior). I was given an Rx and told to come back in 2wks to check in. bloodwork? in 2wks, not now. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

so I filled the script, felt a bit better & waited 2 weeks. NOW the pace picks up. on my Dec 13 office visit I'm told my health insurance has been cancelled. I opt to leave & figure that out. I'm a bit better so it's okay, right? #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

paperwork reviewed, phone calls made, messages are left. I get a hearing date. I should still have insurance. it's a mistake. it's also Christmas-time & the end of the year, so I may have to wait this out until the January hearing #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

now it's Christmas Eve and I'm spotting. my stomach still hurts, I'm still exhausted, but I'm buoyed by the holiday. as Christmas rolls around I get my period for the first time in months. another symptom? #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

Dec 26 & I drive my kids to their father's for their Christmas together. feeling crappy but used to it. GERD symptoms better. taking meds. Period has stopped again. I'm ready to face the renewed Ins battle now too. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

Dec 27 & I'm resolved to get insurance sorted. need to get back to the dr. Feeling horrible and my pd now in full force. Cramps are fierce, so I Motrin-up and get ready for my weekly video conf w/colleagues+clients #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

3 minutes into the call and the room is spinning. I'm dizzy-hot-cold-clammy and struggling to keep it together on camera. cramps are wrapping around my back. I've said out loud "If I didn't know better I'd swear I was in labor." #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

10 minutes into the call I excuse myself. I stumble out of my home office & down to the toilet.I call my partner, working in his shop next to the house, & ask him to check on me in 5. I'm afraid I'm going to pass out on the toilet. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

somehow I make it to my bed. I notice a rhythm to the cramps. the familiar crescendo and relief of labor pains. the back pain. I tell my partner I think I'm in labor. how can this be? I have GERD right? #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

uninsured and terrified I weigh my options between contractions. hospital? doctor? what's even happening? I don't get to make the decision. my body does it for me. I feel the beginnings of a rush of fluid & dash to the toilet #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

within seconds, what feels like a gallon of fluid rushes from my body. then another huge contraction and an object the size of a softball squeezes out of my body. did I just have a miscarriage? #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

the truth is I couldn't bear to reach my hand into the bloody toilet to confirm what had just happened. I didn't want to see the ball of tissue and membrane. I could not even comprehend what had happened. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

I cleaned myself up and fell into bed. I was pain-free. I felt great. I was exhausted. I told my partner that I might have just had a miscarriage. I wasn't sure. wouldn't that be crazy? I fell asleep #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

spent the late afternoon numb, staring at a movie I can't even remember, and noticing my pain was returning. after an hour it was very insistent. more phone calls. what should I do? #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

early evening phone call from NP - I needed an ultrasound and bloodwork to confirm what happened & get care. either go to the ER or to the doctor's office the next day. The ER w/o insurance? No way. I waited it out. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

Dec. 28 doctor's office would write an Rx for an ultrasound at local hospital. wait to hear back. OB/GYN office can't see me - shorthanded and the docs are at the hospital in deliveries. Planned Parenthood doesn't have u/s machines #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

everyone I speak to tells me to go to ER. I phone. I may qualify for Financial Aid. they implore me to come in so they can check for infection and confirm what has happened to my body in the last 24 hours (plus 4 months) #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

Guys, I need to take a mental health break here, and honestly I don't even know if this is being seen or helping anyone. I'll be back in a few minutes and pick up at the ER, where things get worse before they get better #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

I'm driven to finish this up. thanks for hanging with me and reading. there are take aways at the end. I hope this helps women and their families who are uncertain on their health journey. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

after a speedy check-in at the ER, and the financial aid paperwork, my advocates - mom & hubs - are regularly asking for pain meds for me. I can't breathe. it all hurts too much and I want to know what is going on. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

we wait for bloodwork to come back and they put me in the metaphorical line for radiology/ultrasound. I'll need a transvaginal u/s as well. I know it will hurt if I'm in this much pain. I'm begging for meds. Motrin. anything. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

bloodwork comes back and HCG, pregnancy hormone, is elevated. nurse tells me I can't get meds b/c I could still be pregnant. I repeat that I had a miscarriage. she goes to check with the doctor on call #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

I know from prior pregnancies that Morphine is "allowed" and would provide relief. I ask for that. nurse tells me she's "fighting for me" to get meds. I won't make it through u/s without them. I agree. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

almost 1 hour after bloodwork and no meds. no dr. Nurse gets green light to give me morphine. relief is not complete but it is swift. I come out of meditation and can breathe normally. I'm grateful and crying. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

doctor comes in. reiterates bloodwork results. says there's "no way of knowing" how far along I was. I'm probably not still pregnant but u/s will confirm. he's "allowing me" to have Morphine. u/s will be another hour at least #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

I reiterate that my last pd was early Sept. He repeats that he can't confirm "how pregnant" I was. he leaves the room. entire exchange takes 2 minutes. no exam. no other questions. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

have been in ER for 3+ hours. pain returning as morphine wears off. Nurse is allowed to give me Dilaudid. that's now a total of TWO pain meds I'm safely allowed even if still pregnant. Nurse & I had to beg for them. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

After 4 hours I go to u/s. Dilaudid still in force relieving pain. U/S Tech is wonderful. compassionate. gentle. process takes about 15 minutes. transvaginal u/s is invasive, it hurts but is done. now I can get answers #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

back down to the ER. within minutes my GYN appears. haven't seen him in 3 years. don't really "like" him but am grateful for a familiar face. he hasn't seen u/s reports. wants to do an internal first. I'm in pain but I agree #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

before the internal I ask if I will need a DNE. he scoffs and asks "You want to have surgery?" I told him no, but would I need the procedure? don't they do that in his office? is a DNE considered surgery? #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopaise #RealTalk

he tells me that OF COURSE a DNE is surgery, and asks if I think he uses a magic wand to do the procedure. he assures me that surgery is a last resort. everything I'd read said a DNE after miscarriage was "normal". I was confused. #healthcare #AdventuresInMenopause #RealTalk

now we're ready for the internal exam. he inserts the speculum & I want to shed my skin, leave my body and be anywhere else. inserts his fingers. tells me there is pregnancy tissue in my cervix, causing the pain. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

I'm more confused and to doctor is elated. we don't need a DNE! he can get the tissue out right there, in the ER, with forceps. I'll get more pain meds, right? I won't feel it, will i? I leave my body completely. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

I never ask any of these questions out loud. I've gone into a dissociative shock. my mother has left the room. I'm alone. he leaves the speculum inside me for 3 minutes while his med student leaves to find forceps #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

I'm staring at the ceiling while he makes small talk. should I tell him to remove the speculum? could I bear the pain of him inserting it again? is any of this normal? when can I go home? #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

med student returns with forceps. nurse comes in and takes my hand. when do I get a sedative? I feel the forceps push inside me and the tugging and pulling. I feel all of it. I want to scream. the nurse squeezes my hand. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

the doctor collects the tissue he can reach. he can't get it all. he's gotten a lot. I should feel better now.He removes the speculum-using the forceps holds the tissue up so I can see what he's take out. he tells me to look at it. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

the nurse blocks my view with her body. she looks into my eyes and tells me to look away. I need to use the toilet. I want everyone to leave. they do. the nurse helps me out of bed. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

a few minutes later the dr. returns. asks me if I still want a DNE. tells me it's my choice. I tell him I just want to go home. I get dischx instrx. he tells me to come to his office on Monday. it's a Friday. It's almost NYE #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

the nurse writes my dischx orders. she asks me if I need to talk to anyone. am I okay? do I have support? I tell her I have support. I'm okay (not really) she covers the bloody tissue left in vials for pathology. she hugs me. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

the financial woes that had plagued me fall away. I no longer wonder about the lack of insurance that almost kept me from the hospital, that almost kept me from going to "the good" hospital nearby #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

I had gone to the "good" hospital, one of the many local hospitals ranked "high" in PA. but it shouldn't matter, right? we should be able to get good care in 2018 in the United States at any hospital, right? #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

I want to be clear: I'm not blaming. I'm asking. I'm screaming. WHY is it acceptable to treat patients with so little apparent compassion? WHY can pain meds that are appropriate be denied? why do we have to beg from a hospital bed? #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

I called the GYN office to file a complaint. I never heard back. they billed the wrong insurance for their services. rather than phone me, they billed my 3 yo insurance plan and sent the bills to an old address #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

I haven't returned to my GP. I've phoned for my records. they've referred me to a local GI group for a colonoscopy based on my last office visit in Nov. 2018. I've found another doctor to try. #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk

I'm asking WHY. I'm screaming. I'm collecting research, reaching out to colleagues, finding medical experts and patients to interview. I want to be a force for change. this shit can't stand. Thank You for reading. -END- #healthcare #AdventuresInPerimenopause #RealTalk