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Another day of waking up without my tax return.

You know how far a tiny little once a year stimulus can go for a poor person?

If it was intercepted by an agency, obviously I wish I was educated enough to have a job in which to pay back said agency.
I’ll keep it a 💯 with people that follow me because you’re the only friends I have and if I’m not honest with you then what’s the point.

I’m making *maybe* $90 a week right now. My cousin was nice enough to let me help him out on his chip route that he usually does alone.
I worked as a Paraprofessional w/ special needs kids for 3 years. My student graduated. There was no “available cases” (kids that need a para) in Staten Island since June.

So I collected unemployment. Because that’s how unemployment works.
Figured if there’s no cases by the time that ends, I’d just jump into this “regular job” business. Retail, customer service stuff, front desk at hotels, etc.

Minimum wage is $15/hr in NYC. Not escalating to that. Not next year. Right now.
That would be more money than I’ve ever made in my life.

cooliente, let’s get one of these gigs. I’ve been employed since I was 15 years old consecutively. Never once was I fired.

How hard can it be for like Best Buy or some place in the mall to give me 15 hours a week?
I applied for a few jobs.

60.

Sixty. Sixty jobs I applied for. Apparently, that hand of “I’ll just get a regular job” was misplayed. Big time.
Saddened by my failures as a human being. Realizing that I really wasted a lot of years of my life chasing dreams instead of acquiring skills, I was hyped as all heck when I remembered that my tax return was going to be a thing.
Circa 2008-10, I took out a $2,000 loan to pay for one class at CSI. I was getting @FAFSA before that, but apparently I was deemed no longer poor enough to receive it. So I said screw it. I was making good tips as a waiter. I’ll school slower.
Didn’t work out that way. Although the class was awesome (as are all of @TheBrianCogan’s classes and everyone should have him as a professor) and I learned a lot, I didn’t forward my career/financial stability.

I, naturally, defaulted on the loan.
Snowballed to like $4,000. Which again, I acknowledge is a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of what successful people deal with when it comes to student debt.

But I’m not successful. I stayed a waiter. Couldn’t pay it. Then slid into the para gig. Tricky..
The idea of working in a school is to work for the Dept of Education. For a Paraprofessional anyhow that’s how it works.

I was doing it through a temp agency. At minimum wage.
The way into the DOE is a recommendation from a current public school Principal.

So after three years of working in a Catholic School (Mind you, I’m Jewish) and being told by various principals that “all the slots are full”, I decided that this wasn’t a thing ever happening.
A few years back. Not 2016, not 2017. I can’t be sure on the year. But my return was in fact intercepted because of that unpaid student loan. Hence my worry.

TurboTax sent me the card. IRS says it’s been sent to the bank. No letters of interception have arrived in the mail.
People will say “well Jay, if they take it at least it goes towards your debt and like that helps you”

Technically that’s correct. What’s also correct is how much it will completely break me if I don’t get that money. Emotionally, I’m not sure my weak mental state can handle it.
I’m over here trying to hock doodles on Patreon in conjunction with my podcast. Do you know how freaking depressing that is?
To sum up. I’m sad. A lot. For different reasons at different times.

Just wanted to let everyone know what the sadness of these next few weeks is pertaining to.

Sorry to burden you with my long sad story, but the good news is that it’s over.
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