Thread by @erinscafe

you better believe I’m already down that rabbit hole

and I have questions

https://twitter.com/chad_reno13/status/1104198154776395777

“Bound in water-resistant, earth-toned digital camouflage covers, the special volume of the New American Bible, Revised Edition (NABRE) is durable, lightweight, and handy for easy reference in all kinds of circumstances, including combat.”

WHAT IS HAPPENING

I’m no combat expert, but if you’re looking up specific Bible verses, I really think you’re doing it wrong.

oh hey there’s an app

military husbands just SOL I guess

Okay so it looks like the military challenge Bible is printed by the American Bible Society.

The nonprofit requires its employees to abstain from sex outside of heterosexual marriage.

So, I’m sure they’re thrilled that Donald Trump is scribbling on their Bibles.

Side note: American Bible Society are the people who gave the world the Good News Bible (GNB), renamed the Good News Translation (GNT) in 2001. The GNB came about in the 60’s because people wanted a version that was easier to read. It’s meant to translate ideas instead of words.

When I was a teenager, I was invited to a youth retreat for a Presbyterian church. I was Mormon, so church stuff didn’t phase me. A lot of my friends were going. Sounded like fun.

The packing list said bring a Bible, so I brought my quad.

The Mormon quad, btw, is the Holy Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price combined into one convenient volume. It was all highlighted and had post-it flags because I am a nerd and Mormons are really into studying.

I didn’t have a lot of experience with other translations. Mormons really only use the King James Version. But the youth group seemed like a mix of New International Version (NIV) And GNB.

So we’re in a small study group, I don’t know anyone, and someone reads Proverbs 12:22.

I mean, they read the GNB version of Proverbs 12:22.

Which reads:

“The Lord hates liars, but is pleased with those who keep their word.”

Not even joking you guys, I laughed out loud and said “what.”

And everyone looked at me.

And I was like “that’s...not what that verse says? I was just looking at that the other day. Just a sec.”

And I read Psalms 12:22 KJV:

“Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight.”

Someone looks st me like I’m an idiot and goes “yeah, that’s the same thing. It’s just a different translation.”

And I said “I don’t think that’s the same thing at all. God hates liars is not the same as finding the act of lying disgusting. God still loves liars.”

Silence.

You guys.

This group ended with one girl in tears and several people telling me my Mormon Bible was wrong and I kept having to say “it’s not a Mormon Bible, it’s been around since 1611, I’m not even saying it’s a perfect translation, I don’t know Koine Greek.”

Anyway, I wasn’t invited on any more retreats.

I’m not religious anymore, but I just think if you’re gonna call something the Good News Bible, it should have better news.

Btw, I once saw a version of the Bible from the 60’s that used the word groovy a lot, and if anyone knows what it’s called or where I could find it I would be forever grateful.

I feel like the modern equivalent is bibleemoji.com, and I am very much here for it.