Thread by @JHMarble

At a day-long meeting about autism this week I left twice to use the bathroom. I also chose not to mask.

I was chastised for my quiet departures “being disruptive” (no one monitored the non-autistic people constantly leaving the room) and for “looking upset” (I was not).

When I suggested that autistic (and all disabled people) are forced to constantly live with these false projections, I received pushback. When I demonstrated how ableist assumptions creates this scenario, I was told I was being offensive.

You can be an amazing ally and a wonderful person and still be unintentionally ableist. You can be disabled and still be ableist. Pointing this out isn’t a judgement of one’s character. It’s done to help people grow.

I’m not the only one saying this.

I love our allies so much. I take them at their intent. I don’t see the need to beat up people when they get things wrong. However, stating the truth is not beating someone up. All allies must learn this lesson. —> I had to learn this lesson while allying with other groups.

An outdated way of thinking about racism or sexism is to think it is something solely overt. However, our society is now realizing we must also deal with our unconscious and systematic bias in this regard. The same thing is true with ableism.

To point out that an action is rooted in racism, sexism, ableism, etc. isn’t being a victim. Rather, it is an attempt to empower those around you with knowledge.

I’ve noticed that when a person from a marginalized community points something like this out they are often labeled “negative” or “bitter” or “shrill” or a dozen cousin terms. They’re not. That, again, is a perception. They could be the happiest, best day of their life.

This is also why tokenism does not work. I’ve found this diagram from the Safehouse Alliance and CoCo to be helpful. A link to it is here: coco-net.org/problem-woman-…

THANK YOU to all of our amazing allies. We love you when you get it right and when you get it wrong.

❤️❤️❤️

If we point out an institutional frame we have to deal with, please don’t take it personally. You are trying and we see that! We’re providing information to help.

And a “thank you” to allies as they learn. We’re all learning from each other as we work to make our world a better place. We’re not beating you up at all. Rather, we’re making sure we have your back. That’s the value we see in you. We’re glad to have you here!