Thread by @K_Niemietz

Brexit explained.

Five people, A, B, C, D & E, are in a car, driving past Heathrow on the M4.

A [the driver]: "We're about to leave London, and there's a junction ahead. Where do we go next?"
(1/n)

B: "Let's go to Windsor. It's close, it's straight ahead, and it's a pleasant enough place. It's not perfect, but it's late in the day, and we need to get somewhere fast. I'm tired."
C: “Over my dead body! We had a vote, and we, the passengers, voted to leave London.”

D: “Exactly! Leave means leave!”
B: “We ARE leaving London. Windsor is not part of London. Look at the map.”
C: “It’s TECHNICALLY not part of London. But it’s part of the wider London commuter belt. It’s London in all but name.”

D: "Damn right! This isn't what we voted for!"
B: "Who's 'we'? I also voted to leave London, and I very much DO want to go to Windsor."
D: "Windsor isn't leave. It's a betrayal of the vote, and of the great passengers of this great car."

A: “C, D – where do YOU want to go?”
C: “To the Isle of Wight. Turn left.”
D: “To Leeds. Turn right.”
B: "Are you insane?! Nobody said anything about going THAT far away!"
C: "Of course we did. That was always clear."

B: "You said 'Let's have a vote on leaving London.' Those were your words."
C: "I may not literally have put it that way, but it was always clear that 'leaving London' meant 'going to the Isle of Wight.'

E: “We shouldn’t have left. Told ya. That's why I voted to stay.”
D: “We had a vote, E! Why do you hate democracy, you sneering elitist snob?”
E: “You were fooled, D. You didn’t actually want to leave.”
D: “Yes, I did!”

E: “No you didn’t. You were just generally frustrated with life, and thought getting out of London would magically cure all your problems.”
D: “Don’t patronise me! You don't get to tell me what I, supposedly, 'actually' meant!"

E: “Yes I do. It's a well-researched phenomenon. There's a study from the LSE, which shows...”
D [to A]: “Did I say Leeds? I meant EDINBURGH! I want to go to EDINBURGH!”
B: “Stop it, E. You’re just making D more extreme.”

E: “But I’m right. And you, B, are even worse. You also voted to leave, and you really should have known better.”
B: “I wanted to go to Windsor.”
E: “We were never going to go to Windsor! Because A only listens to C and D, and they HATE Windsor.”

B: “C - just before the vote, you said you were fine with the Windsor option."
C: "I never said that. Or maybe I mumbled, and it sounded a bit like 'Windsor'. But I meant 'Isle of Wight'. That was always clear."

E: "We're still not getting anywhere..."
D: "You know why we're not getting anywhere? Because you, E, are constantly talking this journey down. And you, A, are sabotaging it."
A: "I'm doing my best here. Really."
D: "No you're not. You voted to stay."

A: "I did, back then. But I'm the driver, and I accept the outcome of the vote. I'm trying to make a success of it."
D: "Then why are we not getting anywhere? It's because you don't really BELIEVE in it!"
E: "What we 'believe' is irrelevant. Beliefs don't change geography."

D: "Don't patronise me! Just because you got a degree, and I don't, doesn't mean you're smarter than me, or that you know more!"
E: "It kinda does."
D [to A]: "Did I say Edinburgh? I meant INVERNESS! I want to go to INVERNESS!"

B: "Stop it, E. You're just making D more extreme."
E: "So? I'm right. Besides, even if we could somehow, magically, get to Inverness quickly: Where would we stay? We haven't got a hotel booking there."
D: "Well, let's just go there without a booking!"

E: "How? We can't just show up there without a booking."
D: "Of course we can - under the rules of the British Hospitality Association. Let's go BHA!"
E: "That's not how this works. I think you don't understand what the BHA does."

D: "Don't patronise me! Did I say Inverness? I meant ORKNEY! I want to go to ORKNEY!"
B: "Stop it, E. You're just making D more extreme."
E: "I'm right."
C: "Let's go to the Isle of Wight."

E: "We haven't got a booking on the Isle of Wight either!"
B: "Remember this London club card we've got? It also covers Windsor, and they've got a club house with accommodation there, where we wouldn't need a booking. So if we..."

C and D: "WE'RE. NOT. GOING. TO. WINDSOR!"
A: "Guys, we're at the junction. I need to make a choice now. Where do I go?"
D: "Turn right. We're going to Shetland."
C: "Turn left. We're going to the Isle of Wight."

E: "Just do a U-turn, and go back."
B: "We wouldn't have to stay in Windsor forever, but if we could use it as an interim option..."
*Cars honking*
C: "A, you're so useless as a driver. Just implement the result of the vote."

D: "Yeah, exactly. Just deliver the will of the passengers."
A: "Should we vote again?"
C: "Absolutely not."
D: "We've already voted. You need to respect the result, and get on with it."
A: "But..."
B, C, D & E: "JUST GET ON WITH IT!"

[Yes, I know I had it coming. But I'll complain about it anyway: I've now got multiple Ds and multiple Es fighting it out in my notifications.]

["How dare you caricature my views in such a silly way! I'm now going to comprehensively refute this, by sounding exactly like your caricature!!"]