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Really struggling. Everything feels so precarious and my crashes keep coming one after another like ocean waves that pull you back every time you try to get out of the water.
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One of the many hard things with an illness like this is there is no bottom. Things--physical, social, emotional, financial--can always get worse...
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It's so painful to never really have a sense of security of any kind while also dealing with the fact of having no control over my physical capabilities, of which I have very few.
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There's no "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" with disabling chronic illness. What there is, at leasts for me, is understanding of how heartless and brutal are the stories capitalism tries to tell us about ourselves, and small flickers of hope for a better world.
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