Thread by @bctheheretic

Sometimes leaving church is the healthiest thing you can do.

A thread on religious trauma and abuse.

#exvangelical #EmptyThePews

2/ No one would ever tell a woman to stay in an abusive relationship. It can sound dramatic, or over the top, but just because it isn't overt like sexual abuse that doesn't mean a church leader isn't being abusive...

3/ What can more subtle abuse look like within the church? Here are a few things:
• Gaslighting
• Threatening ostracization if you don't change your behavior
• Guilting you to volunteer to the point of exhaustion
• Shaming you for present or past behavior

4/
• Asking you to remove non-christian friends from your life
• Telling you to not trust your emotions or your body
• Using manipulative language like, "Well if you *really* loved god you would..."

5/ • Only telling you to “pray more” if you're having suicidal thoughts instead of ensuring you see a licensed professional. I don't want to know how many lives have been lost due to this.

These are just a few things that can seem "normal" but they are 100% percent abuse!

6/ It's easy to say, "oh it's not that bad," but abuse and trauma therapists will tell you that one of the first signs someone is being abused... is that they are afraid of saying anything bad about their abuser!

7/ Abuse doesn't have to be overt and obvious, it can come in many forms. If you find yourself in a situation like this, I can't encourage you enough to leave. It will be difficult but it is worth it.

8/ If your response is to defend the church and not be an agent of healing then you are a part of the problem. If your church isn’t like this, I am genuinely happy for you, but believe me when I tell you that you are in the minority.

9/ And the, “It’s not the church that is bad.. It’s the people…” response isn't helpful. Because A) i thought that the "people are the church"? And B) the power structures within the church are set up to be unhealthy so.. it sort of is the church 🤷‍♂️